Me life, me ways

Time for repentance

2010-08-10T20:20:00.000-07:00

Wat happen to me??
I started working in the rehabilitation medicine. The only place that give me peace and contentment out of all disciplines. Though at first, i wanted to torture myself by going neurology or geriatric. But nopez, although i specifically request those wards. And my 2 friends requested rehab back. I freakingly got it. Normally, they say ur wish is the service command. Orh well, there must be a reason i was placed there rite? ;)

Unfortunately, i think im a gal who cant really talk much unless i got high from passion fruit tea XDD

Here i am hoping my parents won't get sick and im getting unreasonable feverish spikes. A first 39.0 in many years, even with panadol. Gonna get a checkup later.. On da first day of puasa!!!!!!! What a waste.. T_T

Anyway, im gonna re-edit the content of my blog again. Due to the quote below from the english version of the Koran.

'Moreover, we have enjoined on man to shew kindness to his parents. With pain his mother beareth him; with pain bringeth him forth: and his bearing and his weaning in thirty months; until when he attaineth his strength and attained to forty years, he saith, 'O my lord! Stir me up to be grateful for thy favours wherewith thou hast favoured me and my parents and to do good works which shall pleased thee: and prosper me in my offspring: for to thee am i turned, and am resigned to my will.'

Since the hatred is not around again, it's time to show respect to dad.. Coz he didn't scold me when i asked him bout his condition nowadays. :))

Tried top 3 historical figures..

Galileo Galilei, astronomer; accurately described heliocentric solar system. Beliefs: Catholic (100%)
Ptolemy (Claudius Ptolemaeus), astronomer, mathematician and geographer (100%)
Christopher Columbus, explorer; led Europe to Americas. Beliefs: Catholic (90%)

And took the past life quiz
Your past life diagnosis:

I don't know how you feel about it, but you were female in your last earthly incarnation.You were born somewhere in the territory of modern South Africa around the year 1050. Your profession was that of a medic, surgeon or herbalist.

Your brief psychological profile in your past life:
Ruthless character, carefully weighing his decisions in critical situations, with excellent self-control and strong will. Such people are generally liked, but not always loved.

The lesson that your last past life brought to your present incarnation:
Your lesson is to study, to practice and to use the wisdom that lies within the psychological sciences and in ancient manuscripts. With strong faith and hard work you will reach your real destiny in your present life.

Lol it's been my calling? Rofl.
Niwayz type em in google, u'll find it.. :)

Hell well wat did ya noe, Karm?
Maybe there's a reason why susu & ct call me a bad luck charm. And yet they stand by me coz they find it fun? Even ling-chan too.. @_@
Is my cluelessness really tat of high-quality?? ;_;

My results for quizzes lately:

Tarot card quiz: Devil ;_;
Wat's ur element? quiz: Darkness :((
Pentagram quiz: Type 1 & 4.. in internet - type 7
U should read the upbringing of 1 & 4.. Ct have a good time laughing at me.! D:

AND THE BEST PART OF IT!!!!

Checked out my 72 angels of zodiac and i got
Imamiah - In the Cabala, an angel of the order of Principalities, or rather and ex-angel of that order, since he is fallen. In Hell he supervises and controls voyages,and destroys and humiliates enemies, when he is invoked to do so, or is so disposed. He was once one of the 72 angels that bore the name of God Shemhamphorae.

Tat's it my bad luck is extending to personality quizzes.. RAWR!!!
Karm: Warning - These quizes should not be made into ur beliefs. X)
But orh well hope when i try out sth else in the future, it'll be better. >:)

So far i created 2 songs!! All in one go!! Wee!!! But im not confident bout the earth song.. I wanted to send it for the competition. Im sad if i won't get money and im scared if i might get first prize. I dun want to be under the tutelage of a song composer when composing is juz a hobby and not my way of living.. Ebill terms and conditions!!!! *sobz*

On the edge

2010-07-07T05:39:00.000-07:00

Pops juz came out of his room, repeatedly saying, "Why my cold havent gotten any better yet?"
With his blocked nose, he mumbled that he normally would be fine by 3 days. Now, it's been 5.

I asked Mom to stop Lil bro from sharing the room with Dad.

Thinking of the worst-case scenario.
Im on the edge.. Again.

Pops is a TB carrier, and best part is he's drug-resistant but he won't tell me what drug :/
He always went for checkups but never really give me details bout his condition.

Life is always unpredictable. Mine rarely give me a breather. Even if its problem-free, im sure i would be the one that drives myself crazy. Period.

God, let him be okay.

Lil bro :3

2010-04-29T22:19:00.000-07:00

My lil bro was crazy about swords & fighting! XD
And this was pop doing a camera test for vid quality

Arh, i'm finish walking down the memory lane.. ^^

dear family

2010-04-29T22:17:00.001-07:00

Though life can tear you apart by its own hands; the obstacles.
One day we will rejoin back the pieces of self together,
And one day we'll admire the more complex, abstract character.

Fate mould that character; an adversary we hardly go against.
The future' s the paintbrush; giving direction & colour of hope.

All is guided & created by that one & only divine studio.
But the difference of us being artpieces and the art we do is that,
Blessed with a mind to think,
we're emotional materials! ;)

Hehe how's me prose? :DD
Woke up, the thoughts come flooding in that i just have to put it down before i forget
Hell even my dreams in the night was weird.
Guess what i drew a picture of children landing on the moon. And the teacher im scared of commented that it's interestingly gloomy. Lol
But others got encouraging comments in the dream.. Unfair!!!

Pics today is back to early 2000s..
Im trying to save em from extinction. These are my precious memories..
Im gonna let karm safekeep till i print em out and put it in album! :)

Spore & previous homes

My hiatus :P

2010-03-31T12:06:00.000-07:00

Currently watching the birth of the rich!

My inspiration from that drama

To talk with an aura of confidence
Do lotsa in-depth research
To touch an earthworm >=)

Today i went to my neighbourhood police post. Damn it's classy than any post i've eva seen..

Only place i haven't change my add will be singtel. Rawr!

Nowadays, i manage to be on my guard at home thanx to my prankster.

U noe, i found a game tat i think is like paintball, I was shock to noe tat even a pri 1 kid can play from the Sir!

So ppl go become a fan of stags in fb kaiz? It sure looks fun! XD

My lil bro & cousin was jumping for joy when i announced the event. Then, the whole family was pumped up for it. But thanx to my father side of the family, we can't have fun.. Outta the blue, called my pops & after much consideration i decided to accompany my mom to a stupidly pointless event.

I beg u people, marry someone u really love.. Let the family acknowledge ur existence before marrying. Sacrifice all tat manly ego.. it gets u nowhere near a girl's inner heart.. :((

I let a pic-filled post next time. I'm only here to let Karm a new makeover. :))

Friendship is the kind of love
that never can grow old.
Warm and cozy it will stay
when other things are cold.
Friendship is a love so true
it won't be denied,
Because a friend will always be
there close by your side.
Boyfriends and lovers come and go
in this game of life we play,
But a true friend, no matter what,
in your heart will always stay.
So hold these friends dear to you,
and never let them go.
Think how much they mean to you,
and make sure to tell them so.

Yea, i listen to all korean songs thanx to Dr Kim, Amin & his gang.

Karm, suddenly hanging out with a group of guys was weird. =/

They're not as fun as girls. Maybe I'm too used with all girls wahahaha

No worries, dear Karm, Im still straight. XD

Looking at the mirror

2010-03-15T11:38:00.000-07:00

I can't sleep coz suddenly personal reflection came in my head, taking up too much of my time.

Now, now.. Ppl..

Do u know why the raven is like a riding desk?

Hehe i watched Alice in Wonderland on Sunday with Ct.

We went on a wild goose chase of Susu but eventually gave up. XD

Before watching, i read tiz from the forum and i couldn't think of an answer.

But as i watched the movie in 3D, (YESH 3D!!) i think i understand it a bit..

In the past, don't they use feathers to write the manuscript?

Perhaps he was referring to the time where he write the manuscript,

And the feather of the raven brought him into a world of wonderland?

So he inferred tat to riding the bird itself? Getting a bird-eye's view of everything.

And why the hell ppl think the MadHatter is the same as Willy Wonka.

Compared to Willy, I love Mad Hatter more!!!!!!!!!! His maddness is cute while willy's juz to a point of sickening.. hahax

Ann Hathaway was funny with her queenly hands.. I cant help but be reminded of the Queen from Princess Diaries.

Izzit juz me? But i find the red queen still cute, too bad she's too unloved.

And I fell for the Chesire Cat! Arh every move is pure elegance *drools* :D

Yea visual effects was nice but at the end of the show, the story felt like all those normal fantasy movies, at least characters bore a significance.

Well, tat's my first 3D movie in a cinema.. >:)

I recommend "How to tame your dragon"..Watching the trailer with the 3D glasses, the characters & action seem to pop out from the screen ;DD

As i lie on bed, trying to sleep.. I thought too much and now i cant sleep

My bioclock is totally messed up nowadays x_x

Living with extra addition of an uncle and cousin.. Made me look at life brighter than it was.

Reflection on my aims in life.

About being stuck in my own snow globe..

Happily observing the world in a stand-offish presence,

in my comfort zone.

Will it be enough? will i do tat forever?

After, seeing the difference with juz 2 extra family members.

Once they drift away, i think i can't take the loneliness.

Though i'll never want to hate tat lonely feeling.

I wonder if i can do it, revolve round my family then live up to none the next.

I am super unprepared. =_=

*Psst* I found a golden couple - Kenny & his gf.

Not only they look cute together, seeing their pics always brighten up my day hahaha

Therefore the best photogenic award should go to them! *Applause*

I envy those who can flirt,

flirt as much as u can & settle down when u already found the one.

Don't be like me lolol

I juz dun like the idea of flirting, i'd rather be normal with u all.

But at home arh, they called me random, cute, psychotic, weird & mean gal.

Yea, noticed it gets more negative?

But mom still appreciate me thankfully.

Whenever i directed Boss, he always complain my thinking was too epic..

Well, somehow, we could compromise. XD

And his latest vid wowed ppl, though we two juz don't get the hoo haa!! XD

Coz we think the previous vid was better than the latest one.

Another vid me & lil bro drooled over the epic effects & amazingly nvr get tired of :)

Kudos to OmgPockii!! =DD

I decided there's a prob in me again.

I dun feel the pain of parting ways with ppl & farewells.

I like to poke into other ppl's business, but i get too paranoid.

Paranoia on

Maybe i have intruded too much on the person's privacy?

Maybe my presence will hinder or trouble them?

And tat paranoia will eventually leave a gap with me and friends tat i have created.

Being too unemotional with farewells is not good.. Orh well. ._.

I hope i won't be a neutron star, already collapsed from gravity but what's preventing me from transcending are the regrets in me. Tat'd be a painful life.. >.<

Measure everything by atoms & everything looks divine.

Every small act. Matters. :)

I love nature, it never fail to enchant me.

Visit admiralty park, it feels like dinosaur land! ^^

Too bad me and my family only venture a small bit of the park.

But here was our last jungle adventure. Southridge walk.

On April 2009 though. :P

Uncontactable till thurs. Seeing grams :)

2010-03-13T07:12:00.001-08:00

Here are lyrics tat I found so right for me..

Atrophy - Red Jumpsuit Apparatus
Don't tell me this is your last chance to change
'Cause if you do, then you would be telling a lie...but...

I warned you
What could happen if you should decide
To live your life from 9 to 5
And I mourn you
For the detail that is left unsaid
Is a reminder of the time you bled

Return to days when you knew you still felt alive
Reveal the way you felt when you could look inside

They sold you
Everything you need to fix you up
And you feel good now but you can't wake up
They found a way to reassure you
(That everything would be okay)
Reach out today now I implore you to remember who you are

Return to days when you knew you still felt alive
Reveal the way you felt when you could look inside

So you felt it, but you don't know
Why you can't explain at all
Why you felt it 'cause you don't know
No, you don't know

Break the walls between building atrophy
Causing all your problems to recede
break the walls between
(Break the walls between)
Causing all your pain
(Causing all your pain)
You'll never learn...

Return to days when you knew you still felt alive
Reveal the way you felt when you could look inside

Take Back
The beat in your heart
Why Fight
When you can't be bought
[x4]

Lol been extremely contented with the life..
i no longer felt the hollow feeling!! Success! >:)
I'm still living in what it feels a gray-coloured world
I never felt truly alone even if i was..
Coz i know i could never be disconnected from the bindings of tiz earth,
Im glad tat people are bound strongly by love & the ground
Yet free enough to roam into our souls

And here is the restricted section, kaiz? :X

I thought bout how did ppl turn to homosexuality.
Coz i felt if i was born a guy,
i'll accept the identity juz as readily as being a girl

Have i lost myself somewhere,
and built an attitude of indifference
to anyone new in my life?
Tiz is bad.. Tats why i decide if i need to do a degree, i'll do it overseas
And assess my personality there, a place that haven't welcome me yet
Will i welcome the changes and start accepting new ppl then?
Or i fall pray to loneliness?

Sometimes i desire about living deep in a forest,
near a river or at a mountain
Living by the laws of nature
Maybe i'm supposed to be a gal born in the past.
Im falling behind modern times, no? XP
I could never imagine being a lover or a housewife..
Like my nursing friends would say,
They gonna work for awhile then settle down once married.
It's like a fleeting dream tat i don't wish to grasp

2010-02-28T07:56:00.000-08:00

Modoki here to blog for Mars !

Umm ... Mars met up with me and CT today for dinner at JP ,

but was seemingly quite stuffed from the sakura buffet she ate @ doughby before ,

although it doesnt seem as threatening and fufilling as the one she mentioned located near west coast with 3 stories worth of food :)

Given that she managed to eat the same amount as me

= Mars stomach can hold alotta food

&
buffet not too challenging :D

Ouhkay , after eating ljs brought Mars to buy her coloured contacts (4 boxes)

following which me and CT made her try it on for us to see ~

Took a picture ,

Comments pls !

2010-02-06T05:56:00.000-08:00

Nth much to update but wanna share thiz..
Have fun!!! >:))

Aishah juz appointed me to come up with the bday plans.. Here comes the hair sprays and the flour. I've been wanting to try it on someone XD
Hope the gang will forgive me :XX
Looks like all my day offs will be dedicate for grams if possible
She said if she sleep alone, she normally cant sleep in peace..
Dear grams, stay healthy till we're okay please. x_x

Boomz!

2010-01-29T09:12:00.000-08:00

God, i missed the whacko ouran ppl. Its not much about love, i juz love the comedy hehe.

And three cheers to another year of rants to Karm!!!
Ppl make new year resolutions but i have nth much in mind,

Juz wish for a polaroid camera, more money & have more creative dreams when i sleep. :DD

A polaroid camera for camwhoring is damn nice lor. They give the face the extra X factor & u felt it's more significant than those pics u took in digital camera. What do u noe, the oldies have glamour that modern time can't replace. It makes me feel that i should really go to a vinyl record shop. i wanna see the music covers >.<
Yea my friend used polaroid pics for a card for the Emergency Dept.

When it comes to cameras, i believe i have an obsession. T__T

The reason for the recent procastination was tat i wanted to make a 2009 memoir but i don't have the time to nor the motivation for.
Yesh, i realised i'm actually number 6, no matter how many times i count it's still 6 & not life path number 7. dot. dot. dot. Basically, im not interesting D: hahax.

I really liked ED, i loved the workflow & i loved the patients but im not going back there nimore thanx to a certain star buddy. I rather not work under her thank u very much. :XX
Well maybe i aim for SGH hehe. One thing bout ED nurses that i also liked is they get to prepare for mass casualty!!! Also, me hospital gotta helipad!!

U wanna get a best bird-eye view of a city?
A helipad is your answer.

It's so spacious that u can see buildings all around, it's definitely a breathtaking place. It beats the flyer 100 times better & it's FREE!!!! Woot! U get to feel the wind and yesh the sunlight with the view. It's the best rooftop eva! My quest for rooftops is accomplished. :DD

As Pat walk up the grand slope, he announced: Tiz is where i'm gonna have my wedding lolz
True, it definitely would be elegant cept the bride gonna suffer during the wedding march eh? Imagine her veil flying here & there. :PP

For this whole month i went OT & ED specialised posting. I hate OT. Though it's interesting, it always made me sleepy.
ED, when im in resus room it make me pumped up with energy.. i like to be on standby for cases. Woot!
But unfortunately, i did no cpr action and one info nidda be corrected. We, missys don't need to give the kiss of life. We juz put a tube in their mouths and bag. It's for infection control purposes niwayz. Juz hope nobody collapse when im on me way home. Then, i really have to kiss goodbye to my first kiss. T___T

I like the sisters so far. One sister is cool coz she's direct, another one is very motherly hehe. Yea around half of me peeps are applying. :DD
Today was the last day, and i met susu today too.
I slammed myself to a glass door & thank goodness teddybear did not laugh. And yeah she became my human pillow. I realised its damn true that they say pain is minimised with a warm touch. Yea, sorry human pillow but thanx for helping :P

Hmm so no pics today since the 2009 memoir plan is pretty much postponed.

Whatcha get today from me is my lyrics!!
No pics in tiz rant.
And below is a post long ago in jan & for my eyes to see, not urs thank u. Standard karm protocol: Strictly for karm & my future self. :]

I juz learned guitar skills from my uncle.
Basically, my chord progression is still slow
And my plucking is still not good. Yeah, no worries, im practising. I'm so in loved with my guitar that at home i nvr part with it. XDD
Orh yeah tat's why the last blogskin was mainly the guitar & the soul moving onward. Coz spiritually, i'm still stable. God is still me speed dial no. 1. haha.

Recent song created with chords played on me guitar. Juz need 2 more stanzas and ending chorus & im done.. Weeeee!!!
Im not really sure bout a song's body though. I rem playing guitar hero, there's the bridge yada yada @_@.

War
Clad in armor as he goes
She looks at his back in sorrow
Not knowing what holds for tomorrow

You don't know how it feels like
To count every second in her life
For him to come back in her arms

So don't underestimate your moms
Coz they dare to bear the brunt
When their loved ones are gone (2x)

For all the fathers lost in the war
Through the frontlines that they tore
To fight for the peace that they foresaw

She tells 'happily ever afters'
With her children round the hearth
Soon a telegram came for her

You don't know how it feels like
In that cruel state of life
When the weight of the world is on her

For all the mothers, victims of war
Give the love that they deserve
For the goals they had in mind
For the resilience that they find

For all the men that holds the glory
In a battle, it's a different story
They had to brace their fear in their mind
To pluck the courage to be in line

Tiz is 2 days work coz i kept singing the song lol.
But sumwhat now i think it's dedicated to world war II old-timers.
And for my grandma. No, grandpa did not die from a war. BUT he died overseas when grandma was still young & had 6 children to raise. So it's round the same? >.<

Dad always want me to be recognised, me on the other hand don't.
But if there's one day i wanna test my skills,
I will then try to busk somewhere with a disguise in hand hehehe.
But nidda get license from the Arts Council fiz before doing a street performance if im not wrong leh. He wanted me to upload me songs in youtube..And be the next star like Zee Avi. Even if i upload, my songs are not universal, besides it'll be only da ppl i noe. -____-

Talking bout license.. CRAP! I nidda get one for the sake of grandma.
Mom's hunting for jobs but all jobs are cruel for her educational status. There's only one day off per week.
So i guess i should take up the role of driving grams to the market and stuff.

Karm: All the bez girlie, study hard, dun waste money & dun mess up the traffic!
Mars: I'll try >.<

Dealing boredom

2010-01-09T15:50:00.001-08:00

----Copy------------------------
Post it on your blog!
Name: Mars (Credits to Susu?).
P.S. Do not take this seriously. This is just for fun.
Warning: Do not do it so seriously. It takes the fun out of the application form.

Name: MartianMars
Age: 100yrs0month0days
Gender: F.

What do you do best: Phone tormentor

What do you do worst: I nearly got my phone run over by a car recently..

What is your aim: My aim is to get it spoiled to no return and get a cheapo phone

What have you achieved: I got the phone drowned on the first month (fast progress, eh?)

Why do you think you should be in ClutzClub: It's because my skill for grooming retarded phones is the bez in tiz world

What can you offer for ClutzClub: To destroy ur phones, i'll give special discount for runaways & those who nid to get rid of possessive lovers?

-------------------------

All this in the name of relieving stress. Don't worry! It's not an actual club! It's all in the name of fun. Please do not start promoting this ClutzClub to other people and get the name around. It'll be too horrid to see the consequences. :)!

----Paste----------------

So cheers to those who have nth to do, go join the clutzclub okie? :PP

a surprise

2009-12-30T16:42:00.000-08:00

I was busy rummaging tru my files in word document
AND..
Was shocked by tiz

Your Lucky Number is 7
Yours is the path of the mind. Silence and solitude are your doorways into the deep recesses of the mind and the universe. You are the philosopher, the analyst, the seeker and if you'd be willing, the teacher. The time and energy that you spend discovering the microscopic core of things has gifted you with the ability to tap into psychic energy. It is with this energy that you can separate the true from the false.

There is an air of mystery and secrecy about you. You are poised and sophisticated, and prefer to dress in a clean, well-groomed and understated way. You seem unapproachable to others because of your introspective and analytical temperament. You are the philosophical loner, the probing seeker, and only those of like-mind really understand.

You are a philosopher by nature. Inside, you are calm shy and reserved, preferring to live alone in your own perfect world of thoughts and intuitive analysis of life's deeper mysteries. You experience irritation and upset in noisy or chaotic environments, as your hearing is more sensitive than most peoples. You have a good ear for music and are probably drawn to complex and meditative melodies.

I remember not comprehending this much and it didn't reflect me at tat time.
Now, it does.. Yikes! O.O"
Or is it because i read tiz once.. and so, my subconscious propel my state of mind to tiz?

Or is tiz all coz of James Rollins?! XDD

Mom decide to try security guard for 2 months.. she managed to get the full action of me hospital. Frankly, sometimes i felt tat being a security guard or a driver is not bat at all once u get to rotate to different places each day.
She want to dive in the healthcare line now. I warned her but orh well lets see her perseverance.

I remembered working at the main hospital made me feel squeezed, cramped up and sad.. and now i live my days peacefully at the rehab hospital hahax.

One thing about my room now. We juz bought a new mattress & when the delivery man discard the old mattress, he pointed to Fian tat there were 3 chief bedbugs T_______T
So i goggled up to getting rid of tiz pests coz i dun think tats the end of em.
So how to kill bedbugs protocol.. is to dump everything in tat room with hot water.. if possible, 113 degrees. Tats the optimum extermination. =OO

Tiz is gonna be difficult so dun give ur bags to me. I might infest em with Mars Bedbugs delight *sobz*

Same worries recurring

2009-11-25T20:02:00.000-08:00

To brian - nopez was thinking of talking bout it on the next post though october is like 2 months away now >.<

Anyone having probs with the tagboard?? Rawrs!!
& my comp has died.. lol
& my blogskin is gone!!!!! It was sucha a short love affair! why fedora muz u split us? T__T

Well i repair my blog & update it once i shift to my uncle's house
By 1st december, we shall live in with Wak talib & Aphiz. Tat cousin of mine can be dangerous sometimes, hope Boss will be okay. :S
Give all the love to my lil bro, his holding up on his own veri well :))
He's now on his way of noeing his outcome of psle.. i hope everything would be alright.

I've been working for like 3 weeks now.. Seriously i think soon i'll be a gal who wont really talk much. Coz i dun find things interesting enough to talk bout now. I'd really ace in listening *sigh*.

But, somehow, my job feels very enlightening when i talk to patients. Some of them are very queer ppl which makes them adorably cute. And i'll keep on gushing about how cute they are to myself *repeat the scenes again & again in the brain*

When i pushed an old man into the toilet, i would admire their face and think "Tiz must be a handsome guy in the past"
Yea i got nth better to do so i check out my patients, is tat bad?!
Karm: Nvr let ur grandpas near Mars again *helps to whack Mars forehead*

Lol if u see carefully, with those wrinkles, some features will always stay with em, enduring the age hahax. Peoples' faces as they mature, those wrinkles make em cute juz like the bends of a river; if seen from a bird's eyes view is beautiful.

And these queer people, most of em go into nursing homes.
Do their own family hate their insanity trait of em?? Insanity comes as a parcel of life. I sometimes feel crazy although i only led my life for 19 years. :X
Or are they too busy with their lifes, and forget their parents juz as they forget mother nature. Is self-centredness a neccesity? Discard that black hole attitude! >:((
Well if its financial, get over the problem and don't abandon em forever.

Have u seen the environment of a nursing home? Can u imagine wat's its like to live there everyday. There nids to be a balance of young and old juz like positive & negative..
Some cant ever leave their beds in nursing homes & lying on the bed with no tv.. Nurses too busy with the active ones to make sure they don't fall. Its like a prison lah. Its where u leave ur minds to rot. If they have grandchildren to take care, at least their memories serve purpose but over there, wat is there to live for, please kindly tell me.
Lol, yes i extremely hate nursing homes.

being a single too long..

2009-10-26T12:39:00.001-07:00

keeps me thinking that it won't do u any good...

Rite now i love this single world is coz of..
} Fear of being vulnerable or hurt
} The independence
} A coward to open up
} Comfortable in tiz environment, resistant to change
} Or like michelle's friend says, "being a lone wolf"
[craving a time of ur own, addicted to loneliness]

I dun think i can ever dislike the single world enough to leave
& grab a companion to traverse life's journey with
So with such incentives for keeping my heart in a strong fortress

If im not careful,

I bet i can degrade
to...

> A self-centred narcissist
> Be bitter to other people
> Shutting myself in as everyone is bound to be busy with their own lives
(Always wonder what'll happen to friends after a few years,
I know we always wish for each other's happiness
but i dun think we have enough time to spend with each other)

> Personality gets twisted & become an inhuman soul

Yea i cant help but feel scared as i see the hero from "he who can't get married"
It's like seeing a possibility of me being like tat in the future T_T

Observing so many examples.. =/
Once u're hurt deeply,
u become extremely cautious &
protective of opening urself up to new people.
Hmm, maybe i should search harder for those who defy tiz nature.

Well looks like this is another part of me i need fix.
Funny thing is u'd find urself so sure of ur strength yourself but
having another person to look at you
allows that deluded confidence to crumble away..

So i guess im suppose to be desperate but why don't i feel desperate already ._.
I think its better to be a despo, i mean sure u make mistakes but it allows time for u to grow..

Eddy bro gave me a good insight haiz..
but i think maybe i might miss & miss again to follow such insight when given the time T_T
Like a song u can't get it right, will the Conductor be patient enough to wait & repeat or
the baton stroke on & i'll be ignored..

Submerged in that one part of the symphony,
though obviously, everyone else is moving on along with the tune.
After all, life may not give second chances to certain people.

Let's continue walking on to whatever oblivion light has to give,
Who asked us to be attracted to it in the first place?

(Lol yupz, lil bro & mom at the causeway.. adik was busy shooting as always)

Karm: U have issues
Me: Shaddap! i need some drama for meself :OO

juz a matterof believing urself

2009-10-23T10:52:00.001-07:00

Hey hey..

U should noe wat's tiz nerdish & antisocial freak is doing now rite? :PP
Yea reading about human DNA

"Divine code of life" by Kurakami.

Juz borrowed another book of quantum.. I find tat the more i read it, how the universe works subatomically the more i get excited. :DD
By reading quantum, i realised the universe was created under precised conditions. Thanks to Davis & Gibbing who wrote "The Matter Myth".
Honestly, i have a thing for space from childhood times. XDD

Oh yeah bout the DNA,
Juz noe that the genes u inherit from ur parents can be altered.
Dun think, "Ah.. Coz my dad had diabetes, im gonna have it"
That'll increase ur chances of getting it.
Wouldn't it be better if u fight with valiance
by believing that u won't have that disease.
A recent study found that laughter could
decrease glucose level in type 2 diabetes.. living happily and strong faith are big. Sometimes the result might be depressing but at least u tried ur best in every way possible kaiz?
James rollins had turned me out into a science geek.. >.<

Lil bro has been conquering the computer for video editing..

Thus the sista is getting more hikkomori.

Well my phone receives smses hours later which

makes it damn difficult to contact ppl whom i missed..

I really have difficulty smsing karopi ToT

Niwayz tiz is one of the vid my lil bro made that i liked World end

Warning: A jap song! Yea thanks to ookiku furikabutte anime.. He wished to join softball and badminton in secondary skool. One thing he have that i don't is his outstanding persistence.. guess tats why he excels in sports & manage to create vids :)

The more i packed away dad's stuff..
The more i see the resemblance of me from him. He also read the quantum books that i borrowed.. when i asked whether my step-bro & sis ever liked such topics, he smiled and said no lol.
Now i know why i have the 'difficult to show love' trait.. dad, dad. I can never say "I love you" without grimacing or becoming stiff. XDD

The books he bought in the past tells it all. He had tis unsatiable thirst of knowledge about learning more about consciousness, God and dreams.. The things that i keep thinking bout now.

Lol there also were books about economics & setting up business, whenever me & mom come across these books, we somehow juz cant help it but scorned at em. We even got to a point by flinging some away. Looks like we can never forget the financial issue, guess coz we are still being plague by it? Forgiven but can never forget haiz.. women. *shakes head*

And wth, he has tons of religous books.. though i used to doubt him being religous. So when packing away dad's books, we go to "fascinated" times to "hating" times to "omgdadreadstiz??!"times. Yea, dad do not express his thoughts, u have to tell him what u're thinking & he will choose to entertain u or not. All in all, he remains reclusive to me from when i was young till now. Education topic is the only thing tat will get him going. =/

been a long time since i write in malay.

Sekarang apa yang saya nak sampaikan adalah pasal tentang agamaku.

Bila berbual dengan bapaku, aku sedar yang dia masih ada iman tetapi didalm dirinya sahaja.

Dia tak tunjuknya secara zahir..

Tak tahulah adakah kerana dia malas ataupun iman di hatinya kuat.

Aku berkata pada dia yang aku amat sayang pada buku asma ul husna yang ditulis oleh muhaiyaddeen..

And juz now, when discussing bout how loved late Grandma Timah was..

Dad- Yea, i dun wish to have any illness.. I wish to feel death like how turning off the switch is like

Aku- Bapa mesti taubat tau!

Bapa- Alah tak payah sembahyang sangat asalkan engkau ingat tuhan di dalam hati..

Aku- Hmm tapi selepas membaca buku muhaiyaddeen tu, saya rasa sembahyang tu perkara yang sangat penting. *memberi buku tu pada bapa* (tak tahulah kalau dapat membantunya kerana itu buku dibeli oleh bapaku dahulu)

Mak ku rasa sembahyang itu mengkuatkan iman kerana badan kita berposisi macam huruf bentuk aliff, lam, dhaal, meem.

Dari buku tu, ku dapat tau bahwa kita sudah berzikir pada tuhan dengan nafas kita dengan bunyi ha di dalam..

muhaiyiddeen berkata yang huruf-huruf ni kalau dicantumkun bermaksud alhmad - hati yang penuh syukuran.

Kaiz sampai setakat ini sajalah. Pergilah cari dan memperoleh buku ini kerana ia telah memberikan ku ransangan yang kuat untuk meneguhkan ibadahku. Tapi baik-baik bila cuba menafsirkan isinya, bawa muhaiyaddeen pun ada beri amaran.

Aliff, lam, meem yang terdapat di pembukaan qur' an. Saya selalu tanya ibuku apa maksud huruf-huruf ni. Kenapa mereka ada dipembukaan surah. Mak ku jawab yang dia percaya ucapan itu ada maksud yang mendalam. Dan muhaiyideen ada menjawab soalan ini di dalam buku asma ul husna. Apa yand dia mengajar amat mendalam. Sayangnya aku belum matang lagi untuk memahaminya.

Harap dapatlahku faham pada masa akan datang :)

As i talked to him about late Grandma Timah, how i felt so sad Dad and she didn't meet on hari raya tiz year. I cried when i heard that she passed away on thursday.. I juz cant understand why dad didnt did his best to visit her, i even psychoed my grandma to come visit her.. But tat plan was abandoned when no one answered the door and we went visiting sumwhere else. He should have called more times, coz I and grandma really wanted to see her. Now i noe why i wanted to see her so much.

Well, I nvr saw sumone who loved my dad deeply. When we left her place last year.. she was crying a lot. And the aunt who took care of her, told us tat time that late Grandma Timah keep on asking her about how Dad's doing. She listened to us but couldn't talked as she had lost her voice at tat time. Looking at how she passed away peacefully at home. I cant help but believe she was loved by God. After seeing how she loved dad, hearing her stories on raising him, i started to love her very much too.. Shame she had to leave when dad is still in down times. I wanted her to see dad in his prime & not when we are keeping so many secrets about ourselves.. :/

Anyway thanks to Prof. kurakami and his belief
of the presence of good genes & harmful genes in the genetic code.
I decided to change my pessimism
about my lack of creativity for composing songs
and so today.
I tried activating the 'good' part of the genes. XD

Result is..

'Fight'

Voices crowded my mind
clouds the path i couldn't find
and i lose my way
I figured out what's right
is never what i want
and hey
its never easy
to
Give out a fight
when you don't see the light
of why these things must happen to you

When the future looks bleak
And u lose the will to speak
And that's when.. sorrow finds you

So I..
get a hold of myself with the tears
Played out my choice and fight my fears
Then my strength prevails
to..gether with my peers

This song definitely needs more tweaking especially the lyrics part but it's okay for the first draft rite?? =O
hehe i always have tunes in my head.. problem is always fitting in lyrics to the tune & well continuing the tune. Yea, i ran out of ideas for lyrics.
And my mp3 voice recorder sucks!! I swear hearing it with my earphones was okay but from the comp, it's.. ._.***
OKAY, i admit i have very little talent for composing. I salute those artistes that create their own original compositions.. hahax but i enjoy tiz hobby, no matter how much it will waste my time. =DD

At least i managed to progress further compared to how i fare when i was being an extreme critic of myself. But i keep on wishing i knew how to play guitar. I always imagine my songs with guitar parts.

Well thanx to Fian, i have loads of free time away from the comp anyway. And the me rite now is undergoing a weird transition where i simply hate not doing anything. So juz like me bro.. i still have a long way to go to brush up my skills. XDD

Oh yar & Susu, ur color sense is damn good..
i remember my attachment friends loved the cards & the ribbon alot.
I keep on having to tell them tat they were selected by u lol. Thanx a lotlotlot :DD

And thanx to mokona & shirlyn, i gotta noe that lil bro being crossed-eye is not good..
Complications: Eye strain and headache in the future.

So gonna drag him to the polyclinic for a referral tmr. His eye-condition had worsened dramatically tiz week so i asked mokona and shirlyn bout it today. Yupz met em for my contct lens appointment today.

Good thing is it can be repaired by eye-patching but since lil bro's now old.. the eyepatching process will take very long..
So ppl if u eva have crossed-eyed children.. seek a doctor asap.

He developed it when he was 5 years old
but when i brought it up to Mom & Dad tat time.

They denied vehemently and scolded me for saying such things about my brother.. =_=""
U have no idea how frustated i was with them.

So cross-eyedness is okay, no laser treatment needed, its just patching one eye and training the affected eye muscle kkaiz?
Phew! I finally get out everything from my mind.. I can rest easy XDD

More pics tat i didn't published.. Haiz there's summore pics that i nidda upload before tiz com crash. *feeling insecure*

There's some sort of virus lurking in here :((
Dad's wants to put a better graphic card the next time tiz com is sent for repairs. All for the sake of Fian's L4D.

Well if the graphic is good, i'm gonna play 2.. Coz i cant take lagging.

I realised that i now rock on shooting games, been playing halo lol.

& the pics this round are...

Gene's bday/bbq which was at august..

man i came realli late thanx to someone *whistles*

Gene's aunt was very nice to the latecomers *yea, confesses it hit on my conscience*

Sumwat i want bbq food now again lol. And i just ate at annabelle's bday party last week.

I'm becoming a buta or a pandi = >: (:) [does tat look like a pig?]

Modoki *danger! danger!*

hehe nice!

MC has the power of fire *_*

playing mahjong :PP

(Nah they didn't)

So we snuck off sumwhere..

At the end of the day.. I didn't change my clothes tat was wet after playing with water. Nvr thought i would feel it till i ride the train to lakeside. Boy, was the ride back to ct's house a freezing torture.

Tadaa.. anabelle, fangqi & karti.

I nvr thought i could clicked with attachment buddies so well. XDD

23/10/09

Hamsters & usagis are up!!

2009-10-11T23:06:00.000-07:00

Wahahahah i'm finally satisfied!! No longer getting turn off after seeing the blogskin hehehe
Thanks to susu for introducing fedora. Fedora's blogskin is what i wanted all along!!! hehe
And why u call me "the girl from the 4th planet"
It sounded like im a human specimen..T_T

Tiz post maybe boring.. hey, it's my life im talking bout, tat's why. X/

I admit each time hari raya came around.. I may not be in the mood but it seems God made me see things more clearly everytime this festive season is around.
Even if i tried to be pessimistic when i help my mom cook, i will become happy and hyper.
And think of how time has mould my soul...
I will put pics about my hari raya later on.. Coz my lil bro will want to use the computer soon

I have finally finish the 6 weeks of attachment.. have to say the last 3 weeks was damn slow BUT i still have fun.
Im glad my attachment friends accepted the blur trait in me ^^
The hafiz from pri skool mayb good but he has a bad bad side.. It's no wonder someone i know dislike him.. :X

My motive now is to hang out with my friends & put all thwe pics tat's been taking up too much computer space :DD

Piano's having PSLE now.. He still playing games but he at least revised. Let's see the verdict! He talked big about beating my aggregate score of 232. Wish him the best kaiz! Coz if he meet his bragging, Boss will get his xbox 360 as promised by the sister.. >.<

Love is in the air!!

I feel like wanting hamsters whenever i see tiz pic!!

A rabbit that looks like a dog? *those droopy ears*

Yea teddybear took lotsa pics of em too

The fur!!! fluffy!!! *_*

More hamsters

Shy rabbit

They are just too adorable

My fav mobile display pic till now hehe

When we went to the fountain of wealth.. There were music and laser display with words of dedication.
Read a couple declaration of love..
When we went up to get a better view of the fountain from above.
I got a shock, the whole victoria jc was dancing all around the fountain
This event i believe is one of the rarest for most jcs..
Imagine the whole entire school dancing to the music.. Everyone was prepared for it and classes dancing in synchronised manners, i bet those vjc ppl love it to bits..
Unfortunately, they move too much tat i only got blur snapshots of em.

I went to their school open house with wan ling after sec 4 prelims.
And was instantly charmed by the school.. I really wanted to go there, it look like it would be so much fun..
And there u go, this event prove it all..

However i went to MI as it was nearer to me for my 3 months course..
I still had fun coz wan ton mee, susu & ct were with me.
I met an otaku named Ying Jie and she is the best storyteller i've ever met! Ronnie was also one of my good friends, he's damn blur but was a nice person
Wonder wat happen to em hehe..

So those who worked hard in O levels & plan to go to college..
Make vjc in ur top choices kaiz ;)

Saw tiz peeps carrying one heavy teabag when we reach
and left city hall..
Though we're strangers, I like the coincidental meetings with their backs XDD

One of modoki's gift for me bday!
I used it for my piano file now hehe

In 07 & 08, i was so depressed from the extreme turn around in my life..
And now i finallyfeel that i became stronger.
I didnt realise the me in sec skool still had many flaws..
That girl was still bratty yet i used to think that girl was strong *shakes head*

Rite now i can stand firm & look ahead, let whatever disasters come, im gonna face u head on.
Me and my family is gonna move into my uncle's house.
My aunt had peacefully passed away during June and we decided to help give a look out on Afiz
And most weekends, im taking care of Iqah & Ilam..
They too are orphans. Tat aunt of mine passed away last year.
Im glad i managed to get back on my two feet to shelter them.. My mom will do the disciplining, and me? I will do my sister role lor hahax..
I always have and always will love my mom for her sharp tongue and her sincere heart.. ^^

The times that i might crumble, im counting on u all to help out by hearing me out
And i promise i'll stand by u. Fair exchange? ;DD

--My thoughts--

What riches can't afford is what fate endows.
The fate's gifts is so abstract that it differs from each mind's perception.
And as you keep looking at what you received, what color will your soul be at the end of your journey..
Will it only be drenched by one colour or many colours??

The gifts that fate blessed me were change, time & meetings.
Im glad Dad's riches were gone if not, i'll never get to reach tiz girl rite now.
Im glad some have seen me from my worst to my strongest..
They stir irreplacable bonds in me.
I might not have found love but still friendships rite now are more than enough.
Friends believe me, although i may not be around much now,
i think of u and i can never thank u enough

Hyped did mentioned that i needed a counsellor at one time.. well, the time when i hated guys so much lah.
I wanted to but money is needed for counselling.
So i decided not to go.. so yupz, u all had to take the brunt of it.
And tats why i appreciate everyone's support big or small for these past 2 years! Making me laugh, listening my whinings helps kaiz! XDD

Expect another rant soon and im gonna start searching for places i wanna go. So look forward to seeing me! Miss me? :P
Hell, today im too sentimental sorry! *glomps everyone who manage to read tiz far*

MONDAY 12/10/09

Ouch!

2009-09-09T19:03:00.000-07:00

Haiz tried another attempt to change me skin..
Only thing is tiz time i cant revert to my old blogskin
Yeah i like tiz simple skin..
But i felt damn lazy to add those accessories that i placed in the past
Tried reverting back but got stuck..
So me old cbox is gone forever? I WANT IT BACK! How to get it back.. ToT

Lol looks like everyone now noes that im a lazyass when comes to smsing?
Thanx for still paying attention to me. X)
I have a feeling tiz phone gonna die soon, so i buy the normal phones and start respondding quickly! >XDD

On tuesday, me friend got some free consultation & facial
Yea, but they almost made us paid 960 and come for 10 sessions.
But tell ya the truth my skin now is much much better.. I made myself sound like a customer who would come again to get em off my backs & on to the free facial!!! X_X
I tell more on wat ey do next time.. in a hurry. :)
Hehe thank god i nvr bring my atm card that day!

And yesterday one of my friend msg me tiz...

The 09-09-09 wish, u are blessed with 9 wishes
1. love
2. smile
3. healthy
4. wealthy
5. successful
6. beauty
7. lucky
8. dreamily
9. dream come true

Well i give tiz 9 wishes to everyone

(Yea i noe, the 9 wishes is kinda off?
But it's from a china gal so yeah.. It's nice to me. Hope its enough for u all! XD)

unexpectedly

2009-09-07T11:03:00.000-07:00

One thing i find annoying
Gah why izzit i have guy troubles everytime attachment happens?
Here i thought i would be safe in nursing. Come on, majority are gals.. =_="
I have to go home with a fella who waits for my friend whom i wait for.
But prob is my friend take a different train line while im stuck with him alone..
And he acts extremely weird though i was talking to him normally.
Orh well marina, fight on! ;_;

Attachment so far is easy.. Thanks wan ton mee for the wish! <3 <3
I LOVE wearing the mask all the time. It makes me more confident.. what did i tell ya? Im happier having my identity less recognizable wakakaka. & i love not looking at ppl's mouths, it feels there's more connection with the eyes.. :X

Hmm, be prepared to see Mars wear those kinda scarfs tat can only see the eyes?? XDD
Maybe i have to sacrifice my ambitions for money..
Considering if i should work as a nurse in Dubai? Money is tempting.. @_@

Sent takoyaki to susu's house complete today.. Thought it was good BUT she say jp's one better.. WHY MUZ EY CLOSED DOWN BANQUET'S JAP FOOD!! D:
I nearly got lost finding susu's house.. Coz of the freaking new bbq pit! I kept quiet from teddybear though. But it's out now.. XD

I juz realise i have loads of pics nidda clear to have some space.. guess i nidda put it up in my blog.

So yea when im freee, i upload. :)

Guess da ppl around me are not wat i imagined em to be.
Ct is a choleric phlegmatic while my bro is a melancholic choleric..
I swear i thought Boss is like me a sanguine!!
Well, it explains why he's organized while im not. :/
No wonder they're hard-to-please.. They have authoritive power. O:<

Boss wanna do some music video... He raps & im background vocal?
Let's hope he forgets tiz after a while XDD
If not, i guess i post it up here for awhile and delete it as usual :X

Well talking bout songs, rummaging my old blog..
Tiz old song of mine made me smile again.. :)

Precious Moon

Sweet memories
Sweet fantasies
And dreams will keep you sane

As you see the night sky
Have u noticed the jewels of light?
And among them is our...
precious moon

As it shine its bright
With all its might
& light the mother earth
that bathed in darkness
Don't u see the love?
That be our dear guide
& tat is our..
precious moon

Sweet memories
Sweet fantasies
& dreams will keep you sane

As you lay protected
beneath the veil of God's sky
& i'd be your..
precious moon

I'll shine all light
With all of my might
& light your own soul
Dun you see my love?
That be your own guide
I'd be your..
precious moon

Setting of song:
Mom singing to daughter, crooning her to sleep underneath the stars
I realli wanna sing tiz to my child, if i ever have one ^^

A round of nonsense

2009-08-31T16:32:00.000-07:00

Lol if u wanna noe why i wanna live in a microscopic world.. Reads james rollins' black order *thumbs up*
Then read up about quantum physics hahax.

It can make u believe that atoms & electrons are extremely crazy. Only thing is u can never observe them.. they will noe wahahahaha.
It's funny how we big things depend on quantum and yet we can't really noe em coz the rule bout quantum is there must be uncertainty. Thus, the Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle. :DD
Try reading the schrodinger cat's experiment.

Well i pitied the cat when i fiz read it. I juz love cats ^^
I was muttering to myself, "What shitload of crap is tiz?"

Well if u still don't understand, it's okay.
Juz noe tat tiz is sth bout quantum physics.
U should read Black order fiz to get inspired kkaiz!!!

Coz before reading the book i already started thinking that God loves contradicting things to be damn close with one another.

I mean look at us.
I was thinking our bodies are here but what really is our soul.
U can't really prov that your soul is here. But we know it is here.
You can't materialize ur thoughts out of thin air on the spot.
It stays in some limbo at ur brain.
Asked my pops bout it.
Well yea, the brain gives out chemical reactions & stuff for regulation
but why each & every one of us is different?
Shouldn't we all be the same, indistinguishable things?

Then how bout light and darkness..
Why sth so opposites of one another can juz merge like that?
In fact, it seems one can't live without the other but we could definitely imagine situations with all light and no darkness..
If shadows were not in tiz world, I dun think we can imagine them at all. XD
And there are many other examples of oxymorons if u observe ur surroundings.. :)

Yea i was telling mom all tiz..
Sumtimes im amazed how patiently she listened to her daughter. ._.
But she finally admitted that my thinking is definitelty weird at one point..

Me: U noe sometimes u caught me looking at my face in the mirror
Coz i really like my face, it has both element of cuteness and uglyness in it

Mom: Okay tat's twisted.. I dunno whether to call u vain or being positive

XDD
Yea, i prayed for an average face when i was a kid
Coz my mom told me that she prayed for me to be beautiful..
But the kid me got scared and started to pray that i won't be pretty when i grow,
juz a lil bit will do.
Glad, that it works! =DD

I have an oxymoron on me... woot!
Lol I realized from young, how much i abhor being in the spotlight.
Coz i noe deep inside if there's any attention on me, i might change for the worse.. >.<

Juz like the author, i got excited with the Zero Point Energy topic in the book. Remember that the rule about energy is that energy can't be destroyed?
According to physics, atoms should be freezed and stop off all motion at some -300 degrees celsius.
(Forgotten the exact temperature.. too bad s'pore only have 1 of such book & i cant borrow coz i owe the library loads of $$. I SO WANNA READ! ToT)

But, the weird finding is that energy still radiated from the particles thought they're in their fixed positions.
How? By blinking in & out of existence *drools*
Yupz so tat's why i wanna be some microscopic particle.. so cool *_*
Well it may be cool, but i think there's too much pain? >.<

So yupz, started me thinking about consciousness & time travelling..
Wonder where those particles go when they're outta existence.. Wonder if we could go there to meet our ancestors? *kkaiz stopping my wild imagination now*

So sorry if tiz post is bizarre minna-san.
Honestly, i wanted to talk more bout quantum physics and relativity theory
but i realised i dunno how to explain em much.. *scratches head*
Hint: There might be another post bout tiz kinda stuff rofl

Due to natsu matsuri, I stumble into the kyourankyodai website.
Interesting ppl i guess.. XD

And finally gotta noe the name of the cute figurines
spotted with ling-chan & karopi some time ago.

Introducing the vocaloid gang

In chibi form..

In diva style.. XDD

One thing, they're not anime T_T
Hmm the wiki said they're from some music programme? @_@

The schedule =((

2009-08-03T08:23:00.001-07:00

Ugh T_T

Tmr: WPD presentation + NSl practical
Wed: Ns5 mock test
Thurs: FYP presentation + NURM mock test
Friday: Megacode (Those ER/Code blue moments)

Haiz that ebil megacode suppose to do last Monday BUT coz of Edwin, got quarantined lol lol

And after that FREEDOM!!
*Evil laughter till infinity*

I will definitely go overseas before i start working since my poly friends dun feel like goin overseas looks like im goin alone?
Should i go Vietnam alone?? T_T
but most likely i can make friends..
Hell muz fight people phobia rite now! Charge!!!

Sorry...

2009-08-02T03:14:00.000-07:00

For being evil! wahahaha!

You know wat, i'm happy that friends appreciated my company..
I thank u, deeply from the bottom of my heart for having fun with me!
Coz inside me i could feel my sanity is degenerating. hehe
I realised i seriously nidda hang out with friends to at least unleash my insanity and be back to normal! After 3 weeks of devoting self 'me time'. ;D

Last friday
A recent *touched* moment
I was talking all sorts of stuff with ct..
I was telling her bout my findings of Doomsday hyperly
and she said, "I'm glad that i have a friend like u" ^___^
Well, i confess about being angry at her last phonecall and apologized for the brat me in sec skool.
I did lotsa reflecting? XD

I told her that i don't mind dying right now though it would be sad not to see my old face.
Coz there are billions of ppl anyway,
1 person gone would ease the Earth's burden abit.
Ct: Marina, u shouldn't think so insignificantly of urself
*kinda hit me*
Coz i really feel i'm insignificant to myself,
i noe i make an impact on my closed ones
but to myself, i'm just not satisfied LOL

Actually, karm is juz a place where i dump all my disorganised thoughts.
Hell even my songs are pretty much disorganised lol.
Placing chaos in one corner so that i can continue living in order.
Living reality like a dream.
I dun really care if tiz blog is followed by others,
For my eyes truly.

Tiz gal arh,
seem to talk about me alot to others *haiz*
Like how i used to hate people with handsome looks
as i stereotyped them as ppl who are spoilt! XD

And guess unrequited love
cause similar psychological impacts on the brain?
As i am bent on thinking tat i would die a spinster too.
And tat teddybear is starting to think the same way.
Honestly, i wish i'm near him again.
I forgot how much inspiration i get
of wanting to have a similar character like him.
Having him in my thoughts was fun. Hehe.
Though i annoyed him like hell.
I did all my best to have him hate me
as a way of trying to distance myself.
Really tat black lion is strong. To survive such trials. =))

Lol, here goes the 'observer' side of me again.

Teddybear accompanied me to stabilised my huge insane blowout on tuesday.
Of 'probably getting kick out of my course'
As i'm in the 'failed' list of one module *sigh*
Here comes the negotiations..
Crossing my fingers, that i still be inside this slave contract.
Juz 3 more years..
I nid it for the family thank u!
Though i kinda like the idea of being kicked out..
Subconsciously, i'm craving danger.
Karm: Bad mars, bad mars.. wat a masochist!

Amazing.. I dun feel emo but my posts is gradually getting devellishly emo!!
Woo hoo!
Honestly, I'm now thinking of...
I feel like i wanna learn TCM (one of my first ideas-> nurse + herbalist)
or alter my ways to bioengineering
or stray even further to clean energy
ROFL!

Clean energy.. Maybe i get to see volcanoes for trying to make geothermal energy? =DDD
I rem i laughed with susu.. Calling it a retarded course.
Coz it's like hard to work in S'pore?
U muz go overseas fiz and work there
then come back spore to make the changes.. *hmm*
Am i even that hardworking in tiz current state? =/

But i noe i'm planning to change myself.
It's time to shake myself out from the shell. *Here i go*
Well i managed to regain back the feeling of being connected to God! ^^

Project rant

2009-07-12T09:08:00.000-07:00

Since im having a heavy onslaught of assignments, all thanx to stalling.
Im not been sleeping much at nights.. I dah jadi penunggu rumah. T_T
But most likely im free after wednesday so yupz, will disturb u all soon hehe.

Kkaiz i juz nidda finish tat bloody DDD powerpoint, my fyp literature review.. Then i guess the wpd presentation, i can let the rest do it.. I rem they said they owe me? XDD

My cause of worry is my 10-page drug report.
I realised 2 chunky paragraphs are plagarised from that freaking report.. Is 27% serious? lol
So no sleep again. T_T
Chiong on the hard copy and be at peace..woot!
Yea to make up for my absence in class hahax.

Cept tiz project was supposed to be pair work but *ahem*
i decided to take the brunt of it coz
Maria is forever a busy gal.
I swear her social circle is just too big.
She had to help out preparing weddings always and currently supporting her brother in some competition.

Nvm, wpd will be her turn wahahaha.

Yesh, karm,
I got myself updated with my favorite acoustic guitarists!!
Wee ^^
Warning: instrumental haha

My lil sweet guitar prodigy seung jung finally managed to play on stage together with Kotaro!!!!!!
Performing my favorite song fight..
When im in japan, i wanna meet kotaro *_*
My dear idols, i will play at ur level when im 60 kaiz? =X

Niwayz jake collabed with a uke kid prodigy and here is the vid..
I juz love how jake always play with his ukelele. Got soul! Check out his legs!! XD

And presenting Prepix!
Damn nice Mirror dance!! Completely in sync man.. :OO

I nearly cried seeing lat, jon jon and suffian in np tbones..
U go bros! I was damn happy Suffian joined!! Woo hoo!!
I missed u ppl.. BUT u all arh, cause me to remember my band memories.
See lah whu ask the yhcb concert to get cancelled! RAWRS!

I had to dream me dashing to a tbone on its stand.
Hugging it and sobbing, "I missed tbone, i missed tbone, i missed tbone"
Could even feel my heart ache sia!
Then, Lat and Jon jon suddenly towered me, giving me the lame look.
------end of dream
------------ -which is
-----------------successful in provoking me.
-----------------------------------XD

Due to the lame expressions on the bros

Yar i noe, if i missed band music so much, why didn't i join. haiz
But u all too pro der, i dun want to be the weakest link again.
And i had a feeling, u all dun want me in? Lol. Im paranoid hahaha
But i got reason to be emo in sec 2& 3 kaiz? XD
Onli sec 4, i was myself wee!
I was free from mental torture at tat time niwayz hehe

The adrenaline rush during concerts,
the fun of crescendos and decrescendos. sfps dwa bez!!! ^^
The percussions leading the melody,
the trumpets ringing grandly,
the tbones humming in the background,
And wat i always like to look out for,
the harmony of the music!!

Loved 2nd so much coz i could be at the centre and hear the 1st and 3rds lol.
I nvr felt more alive than being in band performances. XD
I became extroverted along the way..
The joys of music cant be kept alone hahax

But now im reverting back,
And im getting used to this introverted life of mine.
Back to my old old self is not bad..
Finding comfort in silence after some difficulty *peace*

On a knowledge pursuit...

2009-07-06T09:10:00.000-07:00

Yes, did u wonder wat happen to me? XD

I've been taken aback, breathless, by james rollins books.
They're wicked!
Susu, i'm reading judas strain before black order though. Quantum physics will have to wait.. =XX

Other than tat I'd been reading the orion prophecy.
And finally, realised the Dooms Day doesn't come once. It had come a few times before our era.
It's actually a cataclysm of the earth. The Flood ring a bell? XDD

So instead of filling up my time for animes and dramas, i'd been reading up about that and planning to dig up infomation about ancient civilisations.
I rembered sec 1, i really fell in love with history then but when it come 2 war and stuff, i lost interest. It kicked back again! Lol

The zodiac should be viewed in greater honour!!
Nowadays, its used for predicting how our days goes by.
But originally, the egyptians and atlanteans (yes, they existed. XD)
used it for the coming destruction of the world.
The importance of it has degraded tat much.. *sigh*
It was said to be connected to the mathematical celestial combinations to determine the day of destruction.
Go read the book, i can't explain very well. =P
But pardon me, im a bit of a sceptic, when they say it befalls on 21-22/12/2012.
Guess, im going to reread the book and see if i understand tat Patrick Geryl more.

And well, Patrick manage to crack the code of the zodiac a bit but I still don't quite get his calculations. I mean, it's not really significant other than telling the years of the cataclysm.
Who am i to argue? I'm still a noob at tiz area.

It's speculated that maybe pyramids are not just tombs of egyptian kings.. but they could have been a power house of some sort.
Egypt may have known how to use electricity. ^_^
http://www.16pi2.com/ancient_technology_speculations.htm
http://www.crystalinks.com/vimana.html

But it shows tat atlanteans and mayans are very advance. Atlantis is said to be the 'golden age where it's eden of the earth'. (I thought it was babylon?? @_@) In hindu myths, it's stated to begin at the golden age, fall to the silver age, the bronze age and finally now, the iron age.
Otherwise known as "dark age" which is believe to refer to an unhappy age.
Lol i think it's an unhappy age for the earth and nature.. Im fearing israel's nuclear power though untested, they have the most warheads. T_T Some professors have evidences about ancient civilisations having advanced further than what we're achieveing now. In various aspects of sciences.
I nidda read up more books.. Only been looking up through internet so may not be reliable haha.
*sigh* The myths and the facts, sieveing them out is hard due to the bit of truth and error in them.
No wonder, a white lie is a greater sin then a lie. It causes confusion hahax. Kkaiz, enough with my fascination about the zodiac and civilisations.. ;D

Okay so now it's time for me to explain the great cataclysm.
As Earth rotates around the axis, magnetism of the north and the south pole is induced.
Just like the coils of a wire around a nail, producing an electromagnet field. Thus, earth is a gigantic electric motor! Sweet, right?
Polarity reversals of the earth may occur due to the sun, as it's a magnetic star. As it rotates by 4,000 miles/h, it triggers millions of magnetic fields around the sun. Constantly spewing out solar flares due to a short-circuit magnetic field and sunspots which cause nuclear explosions everytime it bursts due to reversed magnetic polarity.

So after thousands of years, there will a big reversal in the magnetic field of the sun. And when that solar flare escapes the sun and reached the earth's poles. Boom! With the power of 2 billion hydrogen bombs, earth's magnetic field reverses & earth starts spinning the other way! Poles reverse from north to south and vice versa & now, the giant electric motor is restarted the other way round.

Did u know?
That all electrical devices will be destroyed even those simple ones like the pocket calculators & watches!
They'll be destroyed even when it's switched off, erasure of all mankind's data.. *dum, dum, dum, dum*
Explaination obtained: If the geomagnetic field of the earth reverses, it'll create world-wide magnetic fields, inducing electric currents and generates large potential differences that present devices will be 'burned out'.

Also earth's polarity has decreased by 60% in the last 2,000 years and thus precession is affected.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Precession

The earth is preparing itself for a reversal sadly.. >.<

There is evidence that the pole locations has been shifted 3 times.
One cataclysm is stated at 27 July 9792 BC
(fall of atlantis & the rise of the egyptians)

In the annals of Le Grand Cataclysm described that 'The last day, an unreal dawn appeared,
without sun or sky, a sultry reddish haze,
of a diffuse clarity coz of its thickness,
it absorbed every sound and the light of the sun.
Breathing was difficult due to
the smell of death in the atmosphere
and no one could tell time as the sun hides behind the blood red fog.'
The survivors realised that the sun rose from the east, no longer coming from the west.

P. Negris, a geologist, found 3 ancient beaches on mountains.
(Mount Hymettus, 1,400 feet, Mount Parnassus, 1,500 feet, & Mount Geraneia, 1,700 feet)
And thus, Patrick describes the extensive damage of the the changing of direction for the rotation of the axis. Earthquakes, collapse of mountains & continents, eruption of volcanoes,
rise of crusts from sea and tidal waves.
Yes, tidal waves due to inertia of the oceans. Remember about the 4 belt of winds in geography? It's all due to the rotation of the axis so after thousands of
years rotating the same way, changing direction will cause
big tsunami waves all over the planet. They match with the Quran descriptions of apocalypse. Im not sure about other religions views on Dooms Day so pardon me.

Albert Einstein once said "I dunno when the 3rd world war will be but it will return with a return to a stone age."

Lol just ranting off to karm about information i found extremely interesting to remember.
Srry if u all found me a bore.
But i guess that's no longer a surprise ain't it?

Here are pictures of turkey.. My step bro when there with his wife. ^^

Hagia Sophia
Name's familiar.. Frome James rollins?? x_x

Ephesus
Anciet mosaic floors of slope houses

Library of Celsus

Gerome town
5th floor of the cave house

Pamukkale (Cotton Castle)
Hot spring terraces.. I so wanna go here!! =3

Hierapolis /Necropolis

Ephesus
At the gate of Mazeus and Mithridates

They even get a hot air balloon ride!!!

Haha step bro is living my dream now.. no fair!
My step bro is one cool dude lol
but i cant show u his photos.. nvr ask whether can put his face or not.. LOL
Well, his photography skills are nice, rite? hehe.

Being an owl..

2009-06-20T11:26:00.001-07:00

ARGH.. Hahaha i thought i won't be posting much but I CANT SLEEP!!!!!!
T_T_T_T_T

So niwayz managed to spot a blog..
Im keeping track of hers coz i keep on seeing fireworks photos. ^^
Hmm, maybe i should become blog scout talent. >:D
Yes, not a critic, im scared they find my blog and hantam me altogether X_X

Presenting an Arashi Fan!!
http://13th-tsuki.blogspot.com/
Found it coz of sakurai..>:)

Come to think of it, i still havent link hui li..
Wan ton mee, wat's her blog link? O.o
She and me admire Sakurai!!!
Cept she love him more than me. So i give Sakurai to her. ._.
But hui li, i want to rap together again! FUN. XD

K insomnia is really a bad thing for me.
Coz it make me want to eat food to past the time..
So ate bread + olive butter

I felt super bored being the only one awake.
So i put the butter on my hair.
I keep on hearing olive oil is good ya da ya da from the indian gang.
So yea, NICE. Juz rub it on the scalp, it felt cooling! ^^
Only thing is, i dun think i wanna put my head on the pillow! XD

And i so wanna play james morrison please don't stop the rain..
*starts practicing aural training*
Let it fall, let it fall, let it fall! Come, sing with me. XD

Let's go out another time :)

2009-06-19T23:58:00.000-07:00

Well fiz week has past.. i couldn't do much things that i originally planned to do.

Been visiting aunt at hospital tat's why.
Rite now everyone is praying for her to go peacefully.
There's nth else we can do. Cancer has taken over her whole body.

My aunt is a very kind soul.. She helped her family in so many ways.
She took care of her mother, her brother and his children.
Me and my family even lived with her for 2 months.
But it was too cramped up so we decided to move out.

Biarlah dia pulang kepada sisimu, ya tuhanku.

So yea, i won't be updating karm much till skool reopens again i guess.
I somewat ain't not scared of me uncles anymore. I have grown thank u, thank u!
But the funny thing is, i nvr thought going to hospital is tiring.
I keep on waking up, feeling that my body is aching all over.
It's not like i jog or nything so why? Tired mentally? @_@

And yes, thanx for yesterday, susu, karo and ling-chan.
It was fun.. ;D
Though i really want to go clark quay after seeing the pics.. another time okay?
I guess looks like during prcp.
I definite hang out with u guys, i wanna complete my hang outs wish list. XDD
U all bttr spill when's ur next hols hahahaha.

Don't forget my bday kaiz ?
11 dec is falling on a friday.. U all muz therefore obey my commands! ;PP
I wun spill where i wanna go yet though.. not yet confirm hahax

And u all should watch cinderella man... Im damn impressed with the actor. He has talent. He acted 2 different roles and fooled me. ;D

3rd X

2009-06-11T09:00:00.000-07:00

3rd time post in a week.. Im hardworking!! Woot!
coz of 3rd Common Test.

*Gasps* Teddybear! We nearly become enemies? *points to msn nick*
Or it's sum1 else.. *Could it be ____* hahax
Tat decides it, ill crash ur place with a horror movie..
hwahwahwahwahwa

U should be okay after playing l4d so muich rite? ;)
I nidda return ur stuff too. >.<

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Gah, common test should start earlier.
Tiz 3rd one is the most boring one of em all.
Every page u could find a doodle of mine.
So, yupz, I'm not absorbing nymore.

Tmr 2nd day of PC show T_T
And i promised to celebrate with the bila bila gang tmr.. @_@
Guesss i have to ask them to accompany me wahahahaha.
Since they wanna go marina square. it's nearby, rite? x_x

There won't be any incentive if i don't meet my love tmr! >:(
TA DAA! Yupz fell in love with it.

Besides olympus was the brand of my first camera..
Then dad keep on buying sony.
But i hate sony, it keep on getting spoiled.

Let's hope Mr m-8000 here won't disappoint me.. ^^
~starts singing~
It's waterproof... till 10 metres
shockproof... till 3 metres
& freeze proof... till -10degrees

Debating whether to buy or not to buy..
But the heart says to buy it coz i'll be needing it in the 'around the world' plan. XDD
And i could snap lotsa pics of ct when she goes canada. ^^
Read about it in the Life Straits time today while waiting for aunty undergoing CT scan.

-black words for karm only- U noe the drill.. :)

Her condition deteriorates so much in juz a week.
If only she could see a doctor today,
but when the time the CT scan end.
The doctors were not available.
All thanks to closing time of 5pm at NCC. >.< But radiographer said she have water in the lungs aldy...
And her hand swell so much as compared to wednesday.
Looks like the lymph nodes are not working well .
So wasn't able to be hospitalized today. Mom sending her tmr.
So tmr's schedule fully booked lor.
From marina square go to sgh then crash susu's house i guess. XD
Ya tuhan, hamba mohon padaMu, berikanlah wak aku kekuatan.

The taxi driver tat send us home was damn bubbly..
He seemed to have gone everywhere. From USA to India and all..
My role model! :D

And today, I could feel the frustrations of my uncle.
Manage to talk to him without looking away from his eyes.
And i felt comfortable with him today coz of the same emotions?? >.<

I muz fix tiz problem.
I tend to let go of people when they change, when they don't want me anymore.
And I go away and will be afraid to even talk to them. Haiz
At least, now i'm not scared of strangers at all.. XDD
My people phobia has mutated. Lol

And yea, Karm, i juz dreamed of the idiot.
Woke up and angry at that dream..
Lol, aftereffects of a 7 year unrequited love?
Or my refusal of wanting to like anyone else other than him?
Retarded heart.. Grr! =((

~lamenting to faith's nick~ A rich man with no love is a poor man. Nuu!!! :(
And u gonna buy piano??!! Buy a grand one for me!!!!! ahax
I didn't get to ask him yesterday coz Fian wanted to play his Halo game asap.
So used msn for outing plannings only.. and i rarely come online summore..
Evil boss!! *shakes head*

hehee saturday, saturday, saturday.. V (*_*)
And karopi, me and ling-chan have a surprise awaiting for u soon..
wahahaha
*evil smile*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Lol karm, im using ur strength a lot lately.. For distracting myself from studying. XDD

Yea and 2nd common test owned me. can pass lah >.<
& the most memorable one.

Either
U all should die die bring some card that has ur face on it
OR
Remember ur tutorial teacher for that module.

U can guess wat happen rite.
Lucky i sat at the back.. so not many saw the commotion LOL
Ms Tina whacked me while saying, "Lucky i noe u, Nurm bring arh. Now minus 5 marks for not bringing card"
Hopes, she was joking in Dr Thomas style.. I nid those 5 marks!! T_T

Tiz week, every time go skool, confirm muz get whack by Ms Tina..
The fiz common test, she whack me coz i refused to paste the temperature sticker on my shirt
Ms Tina: Where's ur sticker
*I point to table*
Ms Tina, frowned, took sticker
Me: Cher, i put there can wat! No, dun want,dun want!
Kena pasted at the back.. And pontianak kept laughing at me.. 3:

Lame attack

2009-06-09T09:15:00.000-07:00

Managed to survive first wave..

Ugh 2nd wave of common tests tmr.. =((

Search for funny vids as usual
And have a hit!

David after Dentist installment.
Guilty of laughing w/o bro. Hahax

1st is da original
David damn cute lar hehe.

2nd - spoof ^^

A toiletbowl vid..
Wat's with me and toilet bowls lately? XDD

My motive is to entertain susu
I realised she'll noe whenever i update sia.. Impressive
My blog damn boring, too wordy also,
she continue stalking Karm. Thanx, im so touch. Lol

Hehe and well, vids are dedicated..
For wan ton mee, carrot, ary, modoki & gang, faith, param
Karm is being in good care all thanx to common tests
So tiz vids are for gratitude for managing to visit Karm. ^^

If u never laugh after watching tiz 3 vids,
I'm disappointed. X(

Will plan hang outs for u all soon since tiz is my last hols! :O
Last minute as always. =P

And yea i rem i got promise to post up pics..
Since karo's bday u all can view in facebook.
I wun talk about it, but it was fun &
Carrot managed to celebrate her bday with fireworks! Woo hoo!

Hmm.. I did say i wanted to post pics of my cousins..
As promised, here it is..
Yea they're all younger than me.
Or rather, i'm comfortable hanging out with kids.
Haha, peterpan syndrome rules!! ^^

Yea play with cousins everytime I go back gran's house.

So one of the things is..

Climb up the durian tree..
Top is atiqah, & bottom is dilam!!!

Easiest tree to climb. XD

Fian epic fail.. Was a branch higher than em.
Can't tell rite? XD

Dilam dreaming

Another recent cousin get-togethers at Hafidz house

Haha, understand my upbringing? :P

Soccer as always.. Haiz

Now, getting back to studying.. =(

It's a small, small world!

2009-06-07T21:34:00.000-07:00

Hahaha HELP!!!
I studied the wrong things for saq.. T_T
Looks like shalini will have to save me big time! XD

Lol I want my digi camera to be working for 15th june..
Can i borrow someone's? Please, please!

Im impressed with ct's silat ppl..
They damn friendly to an outsider which happens to be me!
Wahahaha

Went to poke my nose into ppl's blogs..
Super no mood to study. T_T
And so, i learned jacklyn is a veri interesting person lah hahahah.
http://www.kayelman.blogspot.com

And u might see her in the incoming singapore idols if im not wrong.. @_@
She sings with a powerful voice.. woot!
Im rooting behind ya w/o u knowing.. I became ur fan!! =X

If im wrong, u all get to hear me sing..
Be warned ahahahaha

Ct's seni score is my favorite number.. triple 3! XDD
It's really a cool score for a newcomer desho.
Pardon my biasedness for 3333333333333 till infinity! =DDD
I seriously wanted to see ct spar though.. T_T

But u noe, going home tat time..
Ct slippers almost disappeared.
Yea, she went toilet barefooted with a nurse harping beside her..
About the floor being dirty. RAWR!
Yea mates, don't touch the walls and have ur jeans touch the floor of the toilet..
Those are the places with the nasty microorganisms..
The toiletbowl is the cleanest.
Lesson learnt: Dun misjudge butts of ppl.

Well I bet that ct's slippers will be gone forever and as usual, i lost. =/

Into the sports hall
Me: *smiling widely*
Hehe ct i knew ur slippers will be lost..
now u have to go back home barefooted!!

Looking all around. Me pointing to the silat mat coz i saw a pair of slippers lying there.

Hairband guy entered.
He carried those slippers as if it was Cinderella's.
I'm serious!
Approached us: Umm is this ur slippers?
Ct: Yes it's mine
Me: Thanx

From my POV
At fiz look at me and then awestruck when looking at ct.
U should be, she's ojou-sama material but taken!! LOL

From ct's POV
Guy was looking at me even before approaching.
So she concluded guy had a crush on me.

Sadded tat we dun have an eyewitness POV

I deduced tat..
since i was super hyper searching for ur slippers
He came to me thinking i lost em..
Seriously, he should look at our legs.
But still it was funny the way he present the slippers rofl.
Veri princely. Hahahaha!

Guess ct's the princess and im the evil step sister??
I bet i qualify as one.. Muahahahaha!

Yes if im an actress, i go for the villain roles..
I wish to be Mio from skipbeat. ;D

And yar, i got take ct's pics in her seni uniform..
But lets wait till the silat competition is over
Then i put up the pics.. ^^

Haha the next blogvictim is
http://mikioshun.blogspot.com
He sounded a bit like me but much kinder?? XD

Actually i spotted a daiko friend of mine in there so started reading all the posts..
Go to 2007 archive, there's kenny!!!!
1 look at the pic, then the names.. Nvr realise.
Scroll back up.. spot the names
"Eh? Kenny?"
Stare at the face. SHOCK!
Spore's really too small hahax.

Well i realised tat not only gals suffer from unrequited love, guys can too.

May Mikio be able to find his own happiness.. I salute u! XD
And for the others, who are casualties of cupid
Don die from the hole in the heart yet hahaha.
Live it up & it'll heal one day! ^^
(take note: ONE DAY)

I have such darling friends.. Love u all!! <3<3
Thanx so much for being
with tiz random badass person.
I dunno i think im really not a good person! haha.
I dun deserve u ppl.. TOT

And im gonna die from ns5 today.. WAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!
Lucky it's at 6.30 pm lor..
hehe still have time.. >.<

dark side

2009-06-03T10:36:00.000-07:00

Yes, extreme laziness & procastination!!!!
Will drive me to my doom..

In a week's time
Common tests.. Zzz

I juz dun feel like studying.. been thinking too much on hols >.<
Iz tiz gonna be my last hols? D:

I got lotsa wishes for hols now, currently 10 lol
I tell after reconfirming again.. XDD

I still had a bruise at my neck for twirling around yesterday.
Ct decided to bring me to her silat practice to watch her do seni.
She gonna do hands, then a sword & lastly, with a pole.
Well,she brought me coz the rest do sparring, her's a solo.
So i became her spectator + jury! lol

The instructor teach us to do rolling.
I at fiz did on the mat.. FUN!
Felt the momentum Then on the cement.. *BAM*
"Ouch, my neck.. Ct! My neck, neck"
Ct: See? Tats why i told u to do it fiz
Thus, head was spinning for a while XDD

Lol silat instructor should teach us how to position ourselves properly! Hahax.
The silat tournament is on friday!! Woot.. Im waiting for the round where different martial arts spar.. Muay thai vs Silat etc.

Niwayz, can i whack tat toGether drama?? Why tat guy use Marz as his name =_=
I used tat name fiz for years!!!!! Are u saying mars is a guys name? T_T
I'll sue the scriptwriter.. but in a million years time.. XD

But i dun reco tat drama.. i dropped it after 2 eps.. =X
Atashinchi is da bez!!! Maki is impressive as always! =DD
http://ameblo.jp/osamu-labo/page-20.html#main
Those who wants to practice their jap-english translation skills..
Go to tat blog.. I gotta shock tat an actor can keep a blog. Impressive!
Wonder how's his life like.. >=D

Currently, enjoying emotional stability.
I felt like im reborn to the self in p4 or p5 where i dun care bout love.
I like tiz sorta calmness.
The universe is growing but has my vision become narrower??
The hollow feeling is gone but now im still searching for change.
Seriously, wat am i looking for? -.-

A temperamental of a shell.. the tidings of it's emotions inside
echoing at the same tempo.

Yes same & boring!
Im going to be a boring person soon. ;P
I'll age to 80 in a blink of an eye.. woo hoo!!!
With the death angel by my side saying
"Mars, wat kinda life is tat?
I expected great things from u, kiddo, great things" *shakes head*

Dun mind me, Im really freaking out. XD
Karm, let me be emo for awhile.

One by one the people who sees me grow, goes away
When no ones left..
I noe tats when loneliness is a tough enemy.

Yes, im kinda sad and quiet now..
Mom and me had been taking care of my aunt.
She's having cancer the 2nd time, we'd been washing her tumour
She's not responding to the chemo & radiotheraphy.
The tumour got bigger in da process instead.

Now she has lesser energy, i realli dun wish to lose another aunt fast.
I want her to stay to see Hafidz grow up and well, i want her here longer..
She's the only one who always been motherly to me other than Mom.
I love her and praying a miracle will happen.. Like everyone else.

Is all of these events trying to numb me...
If so, it's working.

Hehe Liberation

2009-05-14T10:09:00.001-07:00

Hahax thanx for all da condolences. Karm is revived but let's see how long it last tiz time, shall we?

No mood to blog or socialise in msn for now coz

Got addicted to nostale.. Da game is too cute to resist for me. XDD
I've been self-criticising myself so didn't wanna blog.. -tormented by insatisfaction disease-
Due to point 2, didnt wish to msn much XD

But then u all see me quite frequently, so it doesn't matter rite.. ;-)

T_T
Time is 1.42am.
Printer crept me out once again!
Wat kind of printer on by itself and start the printing noise??
Only reason i can think of is ghosts are manipulating it!!! Wahahaha!
Cept now, it's not scary anymore. I kena tiz like 4 times, who wouldn't get immunised?
Especially 2 a ghost-loving freak like me!
But the first time happen, was when i felt skeptical about ghosts existence.
I realli thought i wun get disturbances coz im no longer a child..
So it was a wake up call to tell me im dead wrong.

My guessing always ended up in the wrong for tiz subjective stuff,
I could predict ppl's moves but not their emotions.
hmm tat's bad, lol, let's not get me in self-criticism mode

I came to accept tat ghosts nidda life too,
But Printer, i dare u! Print out ur msg.. I nidda new danger level!
Print noise 3 times every time but the paper in the tray is left untouched..
Why?? T_T Lets communicate! =DD

But dad says it's juz technical checking by the printer..
well okaiz, but if i think like tat, no fun for me.

Susu see lah ur praying for the dead awaken my printer! Ahahax
Okaiz I have enough crapping around..
but anyone, please explain tiz techno phenomena to me.
Ur thought is greatly needed!! XDD

Pics, yea i promised photo updates rite.. they're way past deadline.
Hell i realli can't live under deadlines.. hehe

Photos tat michelle couldnt get.. Da michelle gathering!! XD
And the day tat i realise Gene is cunning.
He said event and in the end, it's meeting Lol
But nice der, can eat lotsa pizza and chicken
but felt bad coz wasnt really into the meeting hahax.

Hell, even the zhenghua anniversary, i went 2 play instead of helping out. XDD
I had some good luck with me..
Da most impressive feat i done is archery.
My first arrow shot.Wham! Exactly at the middle!!!
A gal went, "Mommy! Mommy! Look the gal managed to get a bulls eye!"
The uncle was shocked also.
So i joked, "It's coz uncle help me put the arrow"
But after tat, the 2 more arrows cant go center liao.. TOT
I promise to work for next time activity *nods head*

Riding LRT at tiz spot is DA BEZ!!
Should make more ups and downs though. =X

See how i drive em into a corner =P

Da proudest thing from me handphone cam.
Can make everything so white if position correctly.. XD

Hehe.. Ey all so cute!! Lol

Ct's been wearing that star rubberband.
Tats mine but i lost it at her house.
Looks like its hers aldy lah coz i no longer have long hair.. =_=

Last month, i hang out with ct a lot..
Took sum time to accept her changes, now i call her ojou-sama.
Last time we used to call each other twins. She has evolved! XD

Ever since ct said that iszaki used to love going to the rooftop on MI..
Me: Serious? There's a rooftop at MI?? =OO I WANNA SEE!!!
And well, i forced ct to infiltrate me in >=)

Damn her waist is smaller then me so
squeezing into her skirt was hard..
My waist was aching after wearing her uniform for one day. T_T
And yea i look fatter in her uniform.
But the infiltration was a success. Exciting der! XD

I joked with her if i got caught going onto the rooftop,
da principle might call u infront of the whole skool
and announce, "Im deeply ashamed by the act of this student.
She brought an intruder into the skool and she even let the intruder climb to the rooftop."

Ct: Yea, but u'd be in the worse position,
u'll be jailed and i could say i was coerced into it & tat i didnt noe u
Me: Rite, but the evidence is here, u lend me the uniform.
Continued arguing till the rooftop area.

BUT the rooftop was a downer..
It doesnt have a spectacular view
coz it was not high enough.. only climbing the ladder is fun.
Ct nvr go with me, i rmbred in sec skool
she used to say tat she's scared of heights.
She didnt say tat now but i guess she still has a phobia for it?? =/

View from rooftop...

Ct for the lookout~

The only thing to look at is the skool name =_=

Hehe then we juz hang out at the piano

Uniform was comfortable other than the waist area. =D

I WANT INFILTRATE JAP HIGH SKOOL! Yea for the sake of the rooftop and costume. XD

I wonder how ct would react if i say i lost the MI carnival ticket too.
Carnival is on saturday and i still havent ask anyone to accompany.
I'VE BEEN LOSING TOO MANY THINGS!!! T_T
Orh well, i will pester u all soon.. Can see ct silat! XDD

I learned the lesson of never put anything on the dining table..
Mom's hands are like voltures. There one day, gone the next.
If i asked, she would say, "I thought u dunnid it anymore, looks like rubbish to me.."
Me: Ma,why u never ask me.
Mom: How would i noe, u should put ur important stuff at ur bedroom desk table
Karm: Rite.. if her bedroom desk table is not a mess tat is

Wanna noe why post title is liberation?? =DD
I got rejected. Victory!
Announcing to ling-chan minna-san.. my heart is SAFE!!
I dun have to worry bout tiz anymore hahax.

I finally smsed a confession to the
idiot after the coincidental meeting.
Eons ago, I got consult faith about telling tat idiot the truth..
He said if u dun intend to stead,
why say it out? & since imma gal, it's not good

Lol but in then end, i cant tahan the torture so sms it out..
Idiot reject in the nicest way possible..
Should learn to reject guys tat way 2. XDD
And amazingly, i laughed at the rejection msg
and got an incredibly light feeling.

Guess, the brain is telling' "The torment's over, the days of deceit is gone!!"

Man, i should stop calling him an idiot
and call him a saint instead.
He should become a Father in church and hear ppl's confession..
He's still is a great listener like last time. XDD

I told him not to reply, i was thinking it'll be my farewell msg.
After tat, he became too nice all of a sudden.. =_=
Orh well, guess he pitied me? Lol

But,
When my indian gang read my msg.. they laughed! T_T

They kept saying my confession is so cute & tat i'm damn brave..
Priya: Marina so cute lah.
Karthi: Yea, ur msg is too honest, i would never dare to sms like tat.
Shalini: Yah, I rather not say tat to a guy.. so sad why muz u
say the"let's keep da distance" and all..
Me: I realli dun want to see him anymore lah.
Maria: So cute!! If i were a guy, i would fall for u..
Me: NO, NEVER, DUN WANT!!!! I didnt think i sound cute.. *grimaced*

*Sigh* Karm, here i thought i was serious.. and in the end it gave a different effect? T_T
No wonder Ct kept on saying im cute, till now she always say the same thing.. =(
Should learn to be cold like her & i should try to be cool like MC...

New mantra: Cold & cool, cold & cool, cold & cool

So yupz, getting rejection felt great for me.
Maybe coz i wanted rejection so much? @_@

I'd sacrifice a bit of the pride for tiz though. XD
I should have done tiz sooner.
From the start, i didnt want to like him but the crush got worse.. Haiz
But i was scared to say it out,
afraid of the accept consequences or the reject effects
and thought i could juz hide tiz from him forever.

Lol the coincidences freaked me out!
So decided to make things clear.. XD

Cept his latest msg ticked me off..
With da word "Later." in the msg & all..
OI!! I forbid u to be nice!
I didn't want him to msg back after the 2 msgs i sent.
Here im trying to say sayonara and he msg back, treating me like a good friend. >.<

Orh well, im still
Liberated from heart troubles.. =)
Karm let's celebrate together!!! XDD

Next post i guess is about karo bday..
Ary made it so fun, underwater world in the nite is cool!!
No one around so u could juz claim the whole area as urs!! ;)

Ary long time never update also... Guess da sanguines have the same mood swing? =P

Phone nids salvation

2009-03-26T09:11:00.000-07:00

Another rant... no photos. So go ahead and sleep! =PP
Black words are for karm only, so please ignore em.. =)

Actually i wanna flood Karm with photos of
my lil cousins,
grandma's home
[have to move for the sake of government..
I want that place forever coz it's haunted!
I plan to tell Karm ghost stories sum time!! XDD]
animals & da michelle gathering

BUT

Im too tired to do it now coz of attachment. =P
(Sorry Modoki!!! >.<>

Should be posting up pics after attachment... =)
Well tiz time round attachment is boring as hell.. Help me!!!

Hehe not the exact excuse for not giving photo updates lah..
The real
reason
is that i have to import the photos from handphone to lappy
Then to computer.

I will poke the memory stick from lappy to com. *repeats procedure x 1000000*
And ask everyone who received pics from me, no. 1 complain is of the memory size.
One is 2k-3k LOL

Karm apologizes for the inconvenience caused
by a techno noob.
Put it simply, I lost the usb link of me handphone to computer.
Peace!

-----------------------------------------------
Tell ya the truth in sec 4, i wanted to be a geologist and go see volcanoes!!
hehe stand near the crater, get some soil, run from toxic gas.. FUN!!!!
Even imagined emergency situations, trying to evacuate ppl from danger areas..
Hmm, will I be an additional catastrophe to ppl?? =X

*Pops air bubble*
Those plans are all wrapped up to be inside me imagination forever.
Muahahaha

Still thinking of what to do after finished my sponsorship. lalalala
Is there a degree for adventuring? XDD

---------------------------------------------
Haiz but how much money will i have left after buying a house... T_T
Counting down to 21, not for a car but for a house lol.
Well since renting is such a pain in the ass.. XDD

Pops hoping to get work from universities in msia.
He's not suited to living in da house everyday
Sleep all day.. Ojii-san..
U should explore spore, u have lotsa times. *shakes head*

Looks like Karm, u gonna be a blog of an old maid's life.
I pity u. Wahahahaha.
Since im focusing on supporting em.
im gonna be a breadwinner soon... Ganbatte mars.

And when Fian's able to stand on his own and da family finance is secured,
I have freedom to do what i want till maybe 40+??
Then maybe folks nid me full attention again.

So see? No time to fall in love & get married. Lol lol
Mom & dad seriously think that im joking.. >.<>
One retirement fantasy: I will live at cameron, grow strawberries and sip tea... XDD

A lesson learned from love marriage drama
-> When facing a problem, get the answer & work ur solution.

I always like to see things in a long-sighted view.
It works so far.
Everything is going to the flow of my anticipations.
Only after sponsorship is kinda blurry.
Coz im juz playing out all the choices i have in the head.
None is concrete yet. But fun is the foundation! =DD

----------------------------------------------
Handphone will not live long under my hands... T_T

The thing is when i bought the hp in dec.

~Fiz week of phone's life~
I went to KL trip (Go read at Fian's blog)
And the after tat,
Last stop!
Kota Tinggi waterfall, well I got hyper to da EXTREME!!!

So went up and up the rocky stairs till the restricted point.. cross the stream
to follow Dad and..
Wa la!
I put my feet into a stream, current is too strong..
Slipped & fell and in the midst of flailing,
drowned my phone.

On it and the iphone touch sense was haywired.
Eg. Press 1 goes to 9
Cant even open the friggin phone lock!

Languish for a while as i thought i nid to prepare its funeral.
Naaah juz sad coz of da idea "My $300... gone nuuu!!!"

Upon returning to Gelang Patah (grand's house),
Mom blowdried my phone and so my $300 is alive in my hands!

She always have a miracle hand for machines while im their terminator.. T_T

Now at 4 months old, paint is coming out.
I'll accidentally scratch phone's paint off when digging me bag.
Phone to big to put inside pocket. Been dropping it a lot too.

Heh,
To appease its anger. I sum up 3 things i nidda get.
Phone cover.
Extra battery. (One is not enough D:)
Usb link.

----------------------------------------
I feel my blogging style changed again.
Tiz is wat happen to Mars when she's bored.
I nid fun, fun!! *suffocates to death*

I wanted tiz sat to be enjoyable...
There's trail walk & the lights out event thingy at esplanade.
But im worried for grandma too...
Last week, she said to me that when she's lonely.. it's really depressing.
Weekends are her only highlights.
Heard it like the 6th time, but each time it's giving me worries.
Ct's sayings is becoming true, i have morphed into an aunty! T_T

Grandma's joints are swelling again & i juz bought her the glucosamine cream,

Haiz i have to cook up sth fun over at msia there then.
Currently mastering the skill of catching chicks & chasing chickens wahahaha.
Guess i'll climb tress again to enjoy myself.

I got take pics of me Fian and me small cousins climbing a durian tree. ^^
So wait for a pic update hahah.
Will mostly likely be 3/4 pic posts once finish attachment. in 2 weeks time.. =)

Quotations

2009-03-12T11:06:00.000-07:00

Dadadadada juz reporting here, a lot of fun stuff but i lazy describe stuff yet... XD

Next week, is Fian's holiday!!!!
Muahahahahaha i gonna drag u all over Singapore.

Soul gets nourished from the river of thoughts.
And it's source originates from the mind.
Bleh i find it sumwat weird and too long. Lol lol

See lah! Other ppls' quotes super nice lor!!!
--- The quotes (from forums nyaa) ---

To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering, one must not love. But then, one suffers from not loving. Therefore, to love is to suffer; not to love is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy, then, is to suffer, but suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be happy, one must love or love to suffer or suffer from too much happiness.

In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.

Talking rubbish =/

2009-03-05T07:38:00.000-08:00

Hehe looks like the ling-chan and carrot are damn hyper bout the jap karaoke-ing.
I really wonder if i can sing in front of others. It's been too long... >.<

Yea i got sing in front of a large audience before.
But tat's like in pri 1, when im damn enthu to sing.
The audience even clap for me.. but now i felt like bashing my head. =S

Still got sum of me pops' relatives ask me to sing one..
Srry lah eh, now got stage fright ahahax.

Well in case susu's wondering whu's toma and yamapi.
Here is da photo Woot! Carrot's turn to kill me!!!! XDD
She dun like yamapi a lot 1... x_x
Okiez introducing tiz duo!

From left: Toma, Yamapi

So karo's nickname is Tomato while ling-chan's nick is Yamama. =DD
But karo, toma noe yamapi for 11 years leh.

Bez of buddies

U muz learn to accept yamapi one day! Wahaha
They damn close lor, juz like tomato and yamama hehe

So for more info go to
http://sparkasia.wordpress.com/2008/07/25/bestfriends-ikuta-toma-and-yamapi/

I give up reading halfway.. Got more pics there also

Hehe by carrot and wan ton mee, they always call me nodame. Gyaboo!~

Chiaki & Nodame

They're always reminded of nodame when hanging out with me! XDD

Susu, if u find them familiar it's coz...
Yamapi in nobuta wo produce. (got watch one ep with ya)
Toma is from hana kimi. (hehe the drama tat we're so crazy bout)
Nodame is from nodame cantabile. (i got recommend b4! Dunno if u watch =/)

So they always tell me chiaki's my lover.
But nopez no feelings for him either! Gomen. XD

Hehe but i noe Susu was crazy for tiz fella during the hana kimi airing eps!

Presenting...

Shirota yuu

But i dun like him too, coz he look scary...
Waaaahhhh!!! Kuwaii yo! T_T
I used the cat pic to lessen his scariness.

Hmm, i have a feeling tat my complex is still here. I think im scared of handsome guys! XD

My favorite chara was the ghost guy during the hana kimi craze.

Pardon me but im lazy to search for his name. XDD

Dad's signing da family up for a walk on 28th march.

He noes i love outdoors too much!!
And well it's free so tats our family outing for hols! XDD
But im realli worried if my mom & dad are up for it..
Also, if lil bro has enough hyperness to go tat far.

The walking trails is estimated to be 4.8km long and we're supposed to walk for 2 hours.. =/
From harbour front to alexandra zone.. near buano vista?? ._.

Reiterating my childhood bad events.
Lol i normally forget them but i guess i should record.
So i could see the life events i crossed over.. =DD

Last saturday, my grandma has told me lotsa stuff i didnt noe about b4.
Talked from 12 am to like 4.30 am. Convo is juz between grandma and me.

And im kinda shocked and personally, im scared of the unfolding events before me.
Im brave enough to deal tiz responsibly but feels like life has been really too weird for me all tiz time.
There's too much turning points, too many villains.
Why has reality turn rpg? Sad tat it's not a fantasy one.

Life definitely has irony in store for everyone so long as the wheel of fate keep turning;
Spinning the destinies of souls, intertwining or severing them, all fates are weaved into the fabric of time.
We exist no matter how small or insignificant we are.

Is tat the reason why ppl blamed life for the unfairness?
Why arent u direct enough, juz pin point to God and start blaming.
I did tat once but yar, its bad. So dun blame God for too long. XD

Juz remember every turn of fate has its purpose. Life gives good and bad irony.
But always in Literature, bad ones are always being portrayed rite? XDD
Why moan for the the bad ironies in life and choose those events to grieve?
Future is still there, and wat it brings is change.

Look aaaaaaatttt the briiiiiiiiight side of life *tries to whistles and fails* =D

After all the stories of the true past from my grandma, I understood it all.
But grandma forbid me from telling my mom .
I realised, the downturn is retribution we deserved.
My life has transformed to be one of those fable stories. =_=

Haha sumwat i feel like pursuing wealth so as to change everything.
From the past, i did wish to donate and help.
Now i feel like if im rich,
it's a must to do good deeds with money.
To overturn the tide of bad luck.
I want to rerun the the times when we're rich & rectify wat i could before its too late.
For mom & dad's sake.
I mean when dad's rich, dad's wasnt a charitable person. Even to me and mom.
He was kindest to Fian.

I also suffered from a complex then.
Keep on thinking how unfair pops & mom is treating Fian.
They never caned him, pampered him with games and
never scold him for the things i used to get scolded of.
They were more loving to him.
I was an ugly sister till i realised well i also love Fian also wat.
It's good tat he has a better life than mine.

I was emo in sec 2-3 time coz i realised that my existence in the past was a burden to mom.
Arranged marriage mah. Then she conceived me during honeymoon time.

Everytime scold me when i reprimand Fian, "saying u dunno how painful it is to give birth"
Tat's it, I was given birth thru C-section while Fian is naturally given birth.
One difference.
For her, marrying to a rich whu's like 20 years older than her while she had a lover.
Definitely, a nightmare for anyone.
My uncle was the one whu forced her as he disapproved of her lover.

From c-section, she has an ugly scar.
So i figured, in the past, seeing me, caused her to condem her life too.
So when i got emo, i always think tat imma insignificant. I didn't belong here and stuff.
Mom always said tat if she dun have children, she wouldn't have to leave grandma all alone at msia.
Constantly, felt tat i was to be blamed. I thought, in the fiz place, i shouldn't be alive.
C-section coz they find that my respiratory rate was decreasing. All thanx to modern medicine, i am living.

When i was 1 to 5 years old, it was my darkest moments of me childhood.
I was scolded everyday.
I remember being caned or belted a lot of times, hide underneath the table when my mom tried to beat me with an umbrella.
The thing is each time i dunno why i was scolded.

Grandma told me she pitied me so she would always come to visit mom for me.
But mom doesn't like grandma visiting her coz of stopping her from scolding me.
Grandma: Bila mak kau marah, selalu nampak kau ngangis sampai mengigil-gigil
At tat point of convo, i cried. I felt scared of me mom all over again.

I told grandma that I remembered a childhood memory, i was crying at the staircase.
Thinking, "why am i so alone?", my kid self cried even more as those words assaulted me with sudden pain.

Tat memory always made me depressed during sec 2-3. XD

One traumatic memory, she threatened me tat she leave me forever,
i tried stopping her from going out but she still went out.
I was too short to open the gate. So spent hours shouting "Mom, mom".
As a kid, I really believed she was gone tat time. Cried till im exhausted
I was still at the door when she came back.

Hehe, susu noes that i have quite a dark childhood.
I remembered bringing susu for the fiz time to my house.
Nidda ask $2 for lunch. My house was super near to school mah.
She started scolding me saying i should have bring extra money for school and all.
Did feel pai seh kena scolded in front of friend but orh well, tat's mom.
Susu even commented why my mom like tat. Wonder if susu remembers. XD
U noe, they allowed Fian to hold a few hundreds with him. Even american $100 note.
Fian had da 'money collector' mode tat time.
So yupz, coz of tat, i felt hurt lol.

I managed to get over the depression in sec 3.
Yea, thanx to my mental power, always came in handy! =D

Had other dark memories too last time.
Pri 1 was damn scared of people although most of em are same age..
So used to being alone and when see a lot of ppl, i got scared? =_=

Pri 3, had one hell of an English teacher. Tat time mom was working.
Maid always order me to play with Fian at the playground.
Being an airhead like me, I always forgets my homework. And thus, received all sorts of punishment.

Always forced to stayback in recess, sit outside the classroom the teacher teach.
But well, i enjoyed staring at the clouds. =)
She realised it's not working, so she forced me to write lines. "I will not forget my homework" 1 foolscape full always.
Then she tried beating my palms with a ruler in front of class.
And one time she went ballistic, she tore my worksheet in front of class & demand me to hand it up next week.
Yu jie at fiz wanted to give her worksheet to me but cher stopped her with a death glare.
But well she manage to sneakily pass it to me later & i got Pops to photocopy it for me.
Tat time also, Atisya who sat beside me. Befriended me fiz then hated the very sight of me later.
always telling me tat i was annoying. Even called me to say, "Dun call me ever again."
I was thinking why, why, why?

Being used by Atisya's gang in pri 4.
When one fights with the other 2, the victim wil come find me.
Once resolved, they will ostracise me.

Luckily i sat beside Gulabi at the second sem. She was also a loner then.
And she was the first nicest friend!

Ct helped me to trust ppl again by befriending me in pri 5.
Although, i remembered telling her dun be so close to me, i dun trust ppl.
Well she clung to me like a leech.. =DD
So thanx to ct also, I managed to heal from all those events hehe.

But in tiz world, guess being a charitable person could be extremely damaging.
Syndicates using ppl to beg. Tat point is greatly emphasized in the Slumdog Millionaire.
Good donors/helpers tend to give up when they see they're being used or they felt like they receiving lesser support than they deserved.
So good ppl are becoming extinct.
Am i going to subject myself to tat sorta pain? Hmm... =/

Memories.. =)

2009-02-27T09:21:00.000-08:00

Told ya i update pretty soon, Karm! ^^
Karm: I hate having a master with no consistency
Me: WOI!

Haha vids are deleted. Tat's all folks! =P

I MANAGED TO FIND THE BAND PHOTOS. =DDDD
My father manage to store these photos sumwhere .. He's my saviour!! Ahahax
I seriously thought the data has been lost! ^^

Sentosa was it sec 2 or 3? O.o

Me: Susu!! Where' my lunch? Give it back! *punches*
Ling-chan: Susu, how could u?
Jk, jk... I really love our smiles here! ^^

Trophobass

Japan trip, sec 4 time!!! ^^

Hehe why only me & ling-chan look hyper?? D:

Another jap high skool tbone section

Da back are da 2 juniors i taught... Suffian always change galfriend 1.
Heard that if he broke up with one, 10 will come to ask him to stead?
*shivers*
Good that im immune to their charms! Wahahaha!

Jon jon like the gal with side pony-tail. Pretty deshou? =)
In fact the rest of the tbonists also got one jap gal they like..
Why me dun have doki doki? =_=

The waitress wore the traditional kimono rite, ling-chan? XD
Sad that i didn't get the pic =(

My favorite photo from Jap trip!

Tokyo disney land. Went to space mountain ride the most. hehez
Ben (extreme left) is the first band buddy i made.
Glad that I sit beside him for recruit practice in Sec 1. XD

Cute ducks! <3

I realised i lost the tokyo tower photo
But at least i still got the geraniums.. ^^

Ling-chan and Karo... muz go japan with me!!!! I want see cherrry blossoms, see Mt fuji, snow boarding & go see tokyo tower for another shot! Maybe meet Chiaki-sama! Gyabooo.. XD

I rem there's even a statue of liberty at japan!
I dunno why i dun have that photos. I remember having a nosebleed, was it cause of that..? x_x

Hehe Michelle's co. today was fun!!! I gotta noe a $20, 000 tortoise was stolen from lakeside park!
Why a tortoise that expensive in lakeside park der!!!!!! I wanna see... T_T

Oops i didnt get the double rainbow pic from Michelle..
Hehe wan ton mee & carrot got see it or not?

Saw it at 6.45, on the overhead bridge, went meeting my family for dinner.

After, staring at it for some minutes,
dashed to meet my parents at kopitiam, snatch Pop's phone
and when i came back to the bridge... It was gone.

Complain to lil bro all the way back,
"It's the biggest rainbow i've eva seen, why pops nvr take pic?"

Fian said, "I noe.. He said for what?"

Suddenly i felt so sad that i couldnt get that rainbow in photo..
it was like those rainbow paintings in kindergarden time made real. =(

When i ate, I felt so disappointed that the rainbow never wait for me.
Mom: I told u, u should have too a photo of that rainbow for Ina
Me crying badly
Pops tried to hide his amusement.

And trust me, i also find it funny that i cried for a rainbow of all things, so i laughed but still crying..
The tears and laughter didn't stop for a few minutes. Over a small thing like that, i could be sucha crybaby!
Hehe glad that my family accept my weirdness and laughed along! XDD

A family across the table, stare at me one kind, yupz i noe i look crazy. Lol

The biggest rainbow is what made me cry so hard till i laugh..
Thanx for the weird emotion, God. =)

So well, that rainbow seems like it's locked into my permanent memory.
Im waiting for another big rainbow..
Next time i make sure i have my handphone with me hehez.

Everything for today occured with major unpredictability:
Firstly, Ling-chan & karo cant come. D:
Ary perspired a lot coz of draggin me all around SP. XP
Lost my $3 handphone bag
Daniel said he gonna find me and whack me but failed. Where were u brother? hahax
Instead of going to see old railway tracks, went jp. >.<
A meet up with gene+ his friend & susu.. Nvr thought i'd meet them today lor
The weirdest dinner me and susu ever had (bad mood with salty food)

But we began to feel better after we both talk out wateva negative stuff been happening to us
& susu's mp3 help. Next time for dinner, go ljs no matter wat!!! XDD

I think mrt's is where me and susu have the good times.. lmao
Today is door incident part II!
We juz reached the platform and the
alarm sound for doors' closing was given,
we still walk idly towards train

Then the doors' bout to close, susu actually was a bit behind me
i decided to give susu a scare..
I leapt in lor
I bet she thought we were getting another train

Susu had a close call with the doors
But gal, i noe u could make it in time... >:D
Fun rite? hahax
Wait! I think it's my good mrt memory instead of susu's!
Wakakakaka!

After hanging out with Michelle they all,
I started thinking that isnt it great if me and ling-chan go same poly?
Then I could have hang out with Ling-chan more! Hahax.
Why np nvr choose u, EBIIILLL!!!!!!!

But niwayz, lucky have common hols, contented liao! =D

Niwayz ling-chan, if u're reading tiz lets get tat violin of urs fix together with me guitar??
Me guitar string snapped... >.<>

Karm is too pitiful!

2009-02-26T08:33:00.001-08:00

Karm is too pitiful!

Lol my friends are more loyal to karm then me! Thanx for still diligently tagging Karm! And Karm for da long wait, ur reward is a long post, filled with my personal rants.. =_=

And KAI! IM sorrie i nvr update 4 so long.. Where are u gal, I miss ya so much!!!!!!! T_T
Coz nowadays i juz nvr see her online in msn and nvr go cr any longer. I miss her yaoi talk.. But bout yaoi, well im neutral XD
And i still havent update my msn, Kai. =PP

Well i promised to put up pics & video but u noe wat, im lazy and besides tmr i have one big day ahead.
1. Morning go malaysia and fetch my lover back! Guess what is it? XD
MY KEYBOARD!!!
Yes! Now i can definitely master those arashi tunes! =D

2. Late noon, see wan ton mee, carrot and modoki; crashing singapore poly.
Waiting for Mokona to finish paper hahax.

3. 4+ going near np to go explore the old railway tracks.. I've been dying to go there! =D

Karm: Lol why the last minute plan?
Mars: It's coz wan ton mee and michelle have attachment during hols sadded
Mars sabishii des!!! T_T (Lol correct me jap if its wrong)
Karm: At least u wun abandon me now
Mars: Heh we'll see about that XD

Rough overlook for hols
1. Fix my guitar and sign up for classes
2. Gonna try see capoiera class but alone leh, i think i will be too scared to go *gulps*
3. Pulau ubin cycling, param promised me hahax
4. Me self plan adventures: Bukit Timah, Macritche tree top walking(Somehow the name's wrong rite?), Zoo & try hunting down the sengkang hot spring
SUSU CAN U COME WITH ME? Lol if not, i juz drag Boss.. XD
5. Jap food/karaoke outing with Ling-chan & co.
6. Aishah gang also want k-box + science centre.. x_x

My thoughts from tiz week:
Frankly, im thinking bout the will of fire VS will of water..
If fire fights water, water wins. Coz when fire is too much, they juz change to another form, water vapour & escape fire. So water's skill is adaptability but doesn't it seem sad? Water gets push around while fire does not. Fire fights till it die, standing its ground.

Lol i bet u all thinking wat kinda philosphy is Mars spouting? XD

It all started coz i keep on wishing to be like Mom.
I mean she's damn straightforward and skold the person if she sees the need too,
even if it's a stranger passing by or her close friend.

I find Mom super cool coz she speaks her mind out and well, i dun.
I really wish to be her.
She has a fighter spirit and well the will of fire! She's a ninja!!
Lol since idea is inspired from Naruto Shippuden.

Yupz i admire her so much.. I even felt her heart and looks are so much prettier than mine.
Yea she's a better beauty than me even at the age of 43! XD

Coz i realised after doing the group project.. I can only get the group to cooperate one day before the due date of project. By then, i did 80% of the work, I realli felt tat i was being pushed around. One day i got so angry that i skipped skool without warning them and off my phone for one day. Pathetic rite? I didnt say how mad i was at them. But i think they can tell that's why they contributed on the last day. =_=

They are great friends but lousy project mates. And i have begun to become distant with them and closer to Shalini and Nages, instead of the whole bila bila gang. Sadly those two aint in my project group and they're serious ppl.. =/

Nages told me to speak my mind but u see, she's not on good terms with Priya already. >.<
I wish to scold them like my mom would've probably done
but Mom said dun, you might make things worse for urself.
And so, i lost the courage to state my point. =(

So i felt like my actions is like the water. I juz adapt when i get burn by others.
Mom always said she likes my name coz it relates to water. Eg. Marine -> Marina.
Looks like now i ended up having the will of water too, but Mom, Im envious of ur fire. XDD

And u noe wat, i've been thinking, why am i like tiz?
Why do i juz change and revolve around ppls' actions and not mine. Always anticipate their movements and cater to them.

I really wished to go JC and didnt, coz i worried bout my family. Luckily, now i see that it's the right decision. But a dream and my freedom was the price sadly.

Went to read everyone's blogs finally. So a good point from Gene's blog is "wealth, as tempting as it may seem, can never last and the riches of the heart are far more important". Its not exagerated coz I learned that lesson all too well. Wealth can be taken in an instant, juz care for ur loved ones.. =)

Since my emo-ness is over, i shall confess to ling-chan minna-san!

U noe rite, bout my Dad's a rich man.

Well during december 06, his wealth was all gone,
I hated my dad and so, hated myself for hating dad.
Coz i felt so horrible to hate him while loving him.
It came to an extent that I hated all men for no reason at a point of time.
Took me around one year to completely forgive my dad.
Mom took a while longer hahax.

Money can be devil itself, when u're down.
Coz for a year, i blamed Dad for not supporting me studies.

I really did my part as a daughter and did O's well. With lotsa difficulty.
So when i received my results,
Called him, feeling hyper.
*Dad's gonna be so proud of me!*

But when he heard the news,
he didnt congratulate me.
He juz said in a desperate voice,
"What have u decided to do?"

Tat made me feel so sad,
coz Dad didnt acknowledge my efforts,
he's more worried bout wat i'll choose.

For JAE, i felt so torn.
If Nursing: Stable and has sponsorship.
If JC: More skool memories and challenges. (Yea i love stressing my brain! XD)
But i'll have to struggle & there's no financial back up,
how am i going to university?
And wat about lil bro?

"Lets juz get the more stable future," I decided.

But for a year, tiz thought haunts me
"It's unfair! Isn't it Dad's responsibility to fulfil my dreams?"
increasing the hate.
Wat complicated my emotions is that we are hiding this facts from Dad's family.
Coz his family honors ppl by status. =/
I hated it when pops posed as if he's still rich in front of em.
(But now, it's okay and i kinda like the charade hahax)

Hatred made me so blind.

I failed to see that Dad actually had raised me with care for 16 years.
Wats wrong with repaying his efforts sooner than i expected??

God didn't grant his indulgence for wealth which is good.
I get to mature, see the world in a wider perspective.
And it made me become a nurse so i could help more ppl.
So now, im 100% sincere & confident
of supporting my family.
I cant wait how my lil bro will turn out to be. ^^
I help u, Fian!
I want him to decide what he want to do freely.
Well, he said he wanted to go poly. hahax
Now he wish to make weapons.. O.O

For Mokona's blog, I second Michelle's motion. People can be disgusting, especially those who make use of u..
Hell, i'll make sure i avoid them but if i kena, i'll try to forgive those who'll make use of me. See the extent of damage fiz. hahax

Well so now holidays I decree will be the time for me to make memories
Life has been fun! ^^
And i have u mateys by my side and for that, thank you so much! Love u all! =D

Announcement to make:
Boss had an online galfriend!!!
Omg rite? He's 12 and had an online gf aldy?? D:
Lol but then break up with her coz he told her, "I dun wanna be a lovey dovey type of bf"
So gf dumped him.. ._.

After tat he keep saying "Gals reek!" for awhile..
Me: Hey im also a gal
Fian: Gals reek..So u reek!
Me: But u have a one-of-a-kind sister.. D:
Fian: Hah no way. It's u whu have a one-of-a-kind brother
Mars: Lol. Im one-of-a-kind coz im a tomboy. >:D
Fian: U're a sister-brother (I was like eh?????? =_=")

And after he cools down..
Fian: "When can i have a real gf?"
Me shock at fiz but i replied, "When u find a gal who likes u and like u back.. But tell me asap" XD

Im glad at least one of us is determined to find a lover. At least i noe im gonna have nieces/nephews! Rofl. XD

Generally, the psychological trauma is all gone, but i know tat it's gonna be hard for me to get married.
I mean, i dunno if my lover will like how much commitment i'll put for family & well it had juz increased my level of carefulness to find a lover. Which might take forever. =/

I hope it wasn't so awkward with u all from reading bout my thoughts.
But that's the story I learnt.
I juz really want to reinforce the idea of think of ur love ones more than money.
U might not see the worth but it's priceless.
God will bless u for sure! =)

See ya Karm! I promise to upload the videos and photos for the next post which is pretty soon i bet hehez.And the topic'll be super-light-hearted for sure. XDD

Karm: U sure? Dun go missing again >:(

Going random again

2009-01-20T10:33:00.000-08:00

Woot 2 updates in one day. Im proud of myself. XDD

Epik High - ONE!!
LYRICS from kyo331

One!
Time is tickin', t-time is tickin, tickin
Time is tickin', t-time is tickin away..

You, your tears are flooding down your cheeks,
flooding for no reason.
Nobody knows the pieces of a glass storm
are blowing inside your heart.
As a hurt grows a sickness, as all doors turn into a wall,
as you in a mirror become an opponent to yourself,
IT IS PAINFUL.

Locking up you from the world,
leaving you choked.
It makes you pick up the end. (too bad).
It has swept away all the grounds you stand on in your life.
You would just keep walking with no option to go back.
Your breath would stop before my heart.

Wounds...Scars...Tears...Flowing.
(when you cry. though you try. say goodbye. the time is tickin')
I will save you who have been lost in your last hours.
(when you cry. though you try. say goodbye. the time is tickin')
YOU ARE THE ONE
When you are walking in darkness
(when shut in the dark,
you can feel my breath beside you)
YOU ARE MY SAVIOR.
YOU ARE THE ONE WHO HOLDS OUT THE HANDS TO ME.
(when all doors in the world close before you,
I will offer my hands to you)
YOU ARE THE ONE. YOU ARE MY SAVIOR.

Time is tickin'... T...

It is your hands that start a fire on the world.
It is what you can get even if they pretend not to see it.
The star, named pain, seen in your eyes is your city.

Your hand set the world on fire, You closed everyone's eyes
The suffering that was reflected in your eyes
like stars become your city
Are your still dreaming, sleeping?
Are you measuring all the tears you've shed?
Hope is a paper boat that sinks, isn't it sad?

Do you wake up covered with sweat at night?
Crawling on the ground your conscience falters?
Do you think it is the end?
It's ok, cause I understand.
I'll clear the body's scars,
The broken soul's hidden tears.
I'll take your hands and will believe you.
I will save you who have been lost in your last hours.
(when you cry. though you try. say goodbye. the time is tickin')
YOU ARE THE ONE
When you are walking in darkness
(when shut in the dark,
You can feel my breath beside you)
YOU ARE MY SAVIOR.
YOU ARE THE ONE WHO HOLDS OUT THE HANDS TO ME.
(when all doors in the world close before you,
I will offer my hands to you)
YOU ARE THE ONE. YOU ARE MY SAVIOR.

Do you have wounds, do you have scars,
Are you wandering through shadows?

Do you have wounds, do you have scars,
Are you wandering through shadows?
(Faith, Destiny, Love.)

You′re still beautiful to me.
You are the one.
When you are walking in darkness
(when shut in the dark,
you can feel my breath beside you)
YOU ARE MY SAVIOR.
YOU ARE THE ONE WHO HOLDS OUT THE HANDS TO ME.
(when all doors in the world close before you,
I will offer my hands to you)
Time is tickin', t-time is tickin, tickin
Time is tickin', t-time is tickin away...
My savior.
ONE!

Hehez in the end, still not blogging about 2 weeks past coz in project mood & not in confessing to Karm mood. =P
Karm: Marina.. Aho! *Runs away from owner*
Mars: Muahahahaha!

But since Karo brought up the outing thingy, i bttr plan now b4 i forget.

1. Jap karaoke with ling-chan and karo.. Im gonna start practising with Younha songs and i bet anything, ct will want to come ;)
Susu, u leh? O.o

2. Aishah gang - science center outing (A trip back to childhood days)=D

3. Promise Param ey all an outing... No idea wat to do. UBIN CYCLING!!!! Juz came into my mind! lol

4. Michelle & Ary outing also rite? Arh join ling-chan and karo for karaoke then can take neoprints since i've been wanting neoprints bad!! =)

5. Susu i've been wanting to do cooking day with u!! XDD
Ling-chan and karo should come! U 2 more pro! Eh then Michelle & Ary should come and create HAVOC in kitchen! Lol bet susu disapprove, kitchen too many ppl.. >.<

So wat will it be 4 OR 5 OR both? XD
Warning: 5 is still in my head not in susu's haha

6. Tbone section seems not united.. think muz plan outing for em too? @_@ Tbone bros leave tbone sis alone one... The problem serious. D:

E 6 outings sound like major projects to me aldy! XD
But even if i plan for tiz, timing of hols is a major factor. x_x
Attachment is from 23 march to 10 april, so my hols will be on 2-20 March... Wonder if everyone hols around da same time. >.<
My last hols before year 3... *dum, dum, dum*

Most things girls don't know about guys

Some list thingy found while surfing imeem, doing tiz sumwat reminds me of Norlin's style but yet different.. XD
Honestly, i think that Norlin and the gal Daniel like are admirable ppl when it comes to love. They continue to pursue love no matter wat hardships they went through while here i am, given up hope in tiz and ignoring cupid 150%.

Heard tiz bit of news from listening to radio. There's a 105 year-old china woman whu's still single and seeking love. Her criteria for guys?? Must be 100 & above.. XD
Tat woman took a century and still don't find guys detestable for love. Is there sth wrong with my head?? Too much poop in it? O_O

K here's the info and ignore my opinions if necessary. Imma prejudiced lol.

~Starts here~ (Sarcastic voice knocks at mind "Hello! Mars & Karm" XD)

1-"Hey, are you busy?" or "Are you doing something?" ~ two phrases guys open with to stop from stammering on the phone.
*Pfft* As if lah, tbone bros call nvr say tiz lor.. XD

2-Guys may be flirting around all day but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.
Tat's the problem! Deceiving so many just for one. Grr!

3-Before they call, guys try to plan out a little about what they're gonna say so there aren't awkward pauses, but once he's on the phone he forgets it all and makes it up as he goes.
Trust me, gals do the same too.. It's human nature! XD

4-Guys go crazy over a girl's smile.
Yea right.. =P

5-Guys will do anything just to get you to notice him.
Izzit? XD

6-Guys hate it when you talk about your ex-boyfriend or ex love-interest. Unless they're goin for the let-her-complain-to-you-and-then-have-her-realize-how-wonderful-and-nice-you-are method.
Haha some got motive 1? O_O

7-A guy who likes you wants to be the only guy you talk to.
Nah some guys are not tat possessive

8-Boyfriends need to be reassured often that they're still loved.
Heh?

9-Don't talk about your guy friends to your boyfriend.
Woot! One of my methods for spelling out 'Dun come near me'

10-Guys get jealous easily.
Yar, think so.

11-Giving a guy a hanging message like "You know what?!..uh...nevermind.." would make him jump to a conclusion that is far from what you are thinking. And he'll assume he did something wrong and he'll obsess about it trying to figure it out.
Lol. I'll take note! Wakakakaka!

12-Guys are good flatterers when courting but they usually stammer when they talk to a girl they really like.
Nopez no longer the trend. *nods head*

13-Girls are guys' weaknesses.
In samurai animes

14-Guys are very open about themselves.
Yar most are too open till it's sick to hear

15-It's good to test a guy first before you trust him. But don't let him wait too long.
Hah my sentiments exactly! Test them forever and they'll move on! =D

16-Your best friend, whom your boyfriend seeks help from about his problems with you may end up being admired by your boyfriend.
Yupz, so be cold the second time to let him go back to where he belongs. Did tat once, srry bro! >.<

17-If a guy tells you about his problems, he just needs someone to listen to him. You don't need to give advice.
True, true. Tiz 'brother' will listen to brothers haha

18-A usual act that proves that the guy likes you is when he teases you.
Yupz, I put my guard up once the guy start teasing a lot >=)

19-Guys love you more than you love them if they are serious in your relationships.
Hmm not interested in knowing. And could be NA for some guys. =/

20-Guys will brag about anything.
So true, tat Idiot sure did! XDD

21-Guys use words like hot or cute to describe girls. They rarely use beautiful.If a guy uses that, he likes you a whole hell of a lot.
*Phew* LUCKY!

22-No matter how much guys talk about asses and boobs, personality is key.
Haha half true and half wrong

23-Guys learn from experience not from the romance books that girls read and take as their basis of experience.
So go ahead and break lotsa gals' hearts.. Go dudes =_=

24-Guys worry about the thin line between being compassionate and being whipped.
Whipped by gf or family? O.o

25-Guys think WAY too much. One small thing a girl does, even if she doesn't notice it can make the guy think about it for hours, trying to figure out what it meant.
True for some I noe

26-Guys seek for advice from girls not other guys. Because most guys think alike, so if one guy's confused, then we're all confused.
Lol.. funny!

27-If a guy looks unusually calm and laid back, he's probably faking it and is spazzing inside.
Nah, that guy's juz stoning.

28-When a guy asks you to leave him alone, he's just actually saying, "Please come and listen to me."
Lol?

29-Guys don't really have final decisions.
So gals gotta do those final decisions? =D

30-If a guy starts to talk seriously, listen to him. It doesn't happen that often, so when it does, you know something's up.
Yeah, that will be my pops

31-If your best guy friend seems to avoid you or is never around when you're with your boyfriend, he's probably jealous and likes you.
Nah, dun think too much, tat guy probably finds u unlikeable

32-When a guy tells you that you are beautiful, don't say you aren't. It makes them want to stop telling you because they don't want you to disagree with them.
Hehe, no worries, non-existent for me. >:)

33-When a guy looks at you for longer than a second, he's definitely thinking something.
Okiez, notice one dude do tat and taking up measures now.

34-Guys like femininity not feebleness.
Woot! My feminity is lesser than most gals. Well my indian gang has been complaining bout
tat. =D

35-Guys don't like girls who punch harder than they do.
What if they do? O.o

36-Don't be a snob. Guys can be intimidated and give up easily.
Hehe, expecting them to give up. Mars is an eviiil person. *smirks*

37-Guys talk about girls more than girls talk about guys.
Hah! From tbone experience, in twisted ways!!

38-Guys hate rejection, but they hate being led on even more.
Yar, i learned the lesson.

39-If you are going to reject a guy, just do it. Don't say they are like a brother or just good friends, it just hurts even more. Tell them that you aren't interested in a relationship and they will respect you.
Lol. To any brother who's even reading this... Are u hurt? Lmao

40-Guys really think that girls are strange and have unpredictable decisions and are MAD confusing but somehow are drawn even more to them.
hehe but i kinda find guys predictable.. Gomen!

41-A guy would give his left nut to be able to read a girl's mind for a day.
Thank you!

42-No guy can handle all his problems on his own. He's just too stubborn to admit it.
EGO.. Tats the main problem with them

43-When a guy hits your butt it means that he wants you sexually
Wth? What if slap near the butt? But orh well, avoided him liao. XD

44-Even if they refuse it all guys are ticklish on the ribs..
Hehe.. time to test on Fian. lol

45-When a guy sacrifices his sleep and health just to be with you, he really likes you and wants to be with you as much as possible.
Hehe. Looks like Faith realli care bout her. =)

Girls, if u don't repost this within 1 hr then you will lose the guy of your life. Guys if you don't repost this in one hr then you will lose the girl of your life.
Tat's why i repost tiz after one day's gone! >=)

Piano craving getting stronger!!

2009-01-19T19:17:00.001-08:00

Hahax i will talk bout 2 weeks later lol! I'm really abandoning Karm here.. Gomenasai!
Mars: Coz lil bro keep using com at nites when i got inspiration to blog lah D=
Karm: Hah! Excuses! U cruel owner!!
Mars: No!! Me not cruel.. Me being considerate to Fian!

Imma addicted to Epik High... their lyrics are superbly powerful! Muz watch their MVs with lyrics one..
So instead of attending lecture, find a sitting spot and listen to em all over again!

Yesterday got too many distractions when doing project leh
Everytime when i do work muz listen to music
But in the end, Epik High captivated me..
Then Younha lor make me stay up till 2+... RAWR!

Pics of my new found idols! =-D

That fella do my favorite pose!! =DD

This group is da cool and cute type of celebs i guess. Me like! =)

Tada! The super cooland cute Younha!!! She's a different definition than most musicians.. She's a rocker pianist! But some songs, she play jazz one. Hmm i got addicted to watching her mvs coz of her hairdos and yupz, her clothes. =)

Gonna learn to play Younha songs.. All her songs need piano one. =DD
PromiseLing-chan and Karo tat i'll practise playing truth.. Hehe so I got arashi and younha and even found Kat-tun piano scores... TOO MANY TOO LIL TIME!!! My keyboard at msia mahz so onli weekends can practice.... Naze? T_T

Here's the links for the piano stuff, wan ton mee! =DD
http://gladz140992.wordpress.com/2008/04/25/piano-sheet-music/
http://winkychan.livejournal.com/15429.html

Hectic week has passed!!! Bansai!

2009-01-11T21:28:00.000-08:00

(Last week --->> On the fiz week of skool and my brain went haywire. And I got receive an increase of presents! XD)

I thought dun have class today, but friend juz called and i realised i have one. Sai!
So niwayz, i felt like telling myself, imma stuuuuuupid retarded freak! XD
Gonna reveal it later, bet susu gonna be mad at me! Hahax.

What i've been thinking in the bus journey...

My heart is being sealed up in a strong fortress.
Every crack is being cemented but due to this flaws and scars...
They reveal my weak points.

And the higher i build this fortress, to make my heart unatttainable for anyone.
The more i worry, wat'll happen if my fortress crumble.

I dun wanna to make all this effort go to waste..
But in the depths of my heart,
it's subconsciously wishing for me to release and free it...

But for now, i chose my mind instead of heart..
And so long as the mind reigns, i shall choose not to love.

Last week!

2008-12-29T06:22:00.000-08:00

Heh, Lil bro wanna talk about the KL trip so i'll talk about tiz week... Hehez

Hmm i return from msia on wed...Hahax
I got lotsa pics coz me new phone can take up lotsa pics... 8 megapix camera... WOOT!!!

And the most amazing thing about the phone is it can withstand being drenched in riverwater!!!
Proudly tested by me! X_X
Tell ya the truth, it went haywire at fiz but was back to shape from juz a blow dry... XD

K update of tiz week

On thurs, I noe it's xmas day! Went to Ling-chan's house to hear about her Jap trip! XD
Karo came along too... Hehez then we meet up ct coz she wanted to buy nintendo DS game..

Gaah start presentation! But omoishiroi ne.

Ling-chan give us many stories and da jap scenery damn nice!
Autumn leaves have a magic of their own *nods head*

Introducing Ling-chan and Karo! XD

Lol in front of one restaurant..

We muz have look like tourists! XD

Gah! Ling-chan look like da little gal! =D

CT ALWAYS BULLY ME!!!
Yupz, she started playing with me tiz hols..

And here i thought i was forgotten lol

Begin our sushi fiesta in BK =X

So then went to comics connection to find ct's game

Da fiz thing wantonmee and karo go is...

find their Jap idols! Hahax

No ct dun shoplift! =O

Torn between 2 games..
She bought Harvest Moon in the end

Me aimless, waiting for em XD

Take pics after tat...

Me super chinese looking here!! XD

Candid pic! =P

Hmm friday went to susu's house with ct.
Ct's bf went Brunei so force her to come although it was after her silat practice! =P
Meet up as i practically forgot to give ct her DS recharger on thursday & since ct long time nvr see susu... Decided tat she muz come! =)
Hehe susu had to wait long long for us... GOMEN!!!

Da vinci book was a nice thriller but i hate it coz it makes me feel disgusted too.
Pagans worship their Goddess by having sex in da temples? O.O

Like the da vinci code as a movie bttr!! Heard from susu tat there'll be Angels and Demons movie in makin... yosh gonna go watch it! ^^

Saturday!!
Went and meet up with Aishah's gang to go escape theme park coz got offer.. $8.80 for adults.
I brought lil bro along coz i rem promising to bring him there again.
Ah hwee slept and missed da outing! She woke up at 3+.. =_=

Gah smiley face black shirt!!

See da offer!! Hahahaha

Taken during our play time

Tiz one is Ain!
She got many similarities with me...
Love phobic and weird tastes in music
Muz be coz of havin fathers with same names. ^^

After sum time of playing, went to BK for lunch...
but instead we choose to rot! Burger over there expensive.. lmao

Hehez Nadiah and Aishah beside me

Ain's funny face and Fian's bored look

And then, we saw tiz sign!! Read it properly haha

And started to pose at da door...
Fian did da bez pose!! Hahax

Nadiah got take more pics so awaiting for her pics.. Especially the last few pics we took
We jumped alot juz to look good in da pics! XD

Then on Sunday, Father was bored and said we should go to a park.

He wanted Sembawang park but i wanted Yishun Bottletree park!!
Coz i heard got paintballs there! =DD
In da end nvr do the paintballs.. coz expensive and there's the abseiling, flying fox and stuff there
which is open to public during hols.. No time to go.. T_T
But goin to Yishun Park was worth it! =)

Ppl showing off their hunter skills on guppies

Da tree tat we came for! XD

After an hour of walking..=)

Took us sumtime to realise tat there were prawns

And this is da biggest one we spotted..
Too bad can't see it well in pic
It was different than the rez - had long blue legs *_*

Mum looks like a kid, no? lol

Lil bro fantasizing to be a samurai!

Near a lake

"Aim for higher heights, Dad!!". XP

Saw tiz at the mini wet market

And Fian's 'casting magic'
Thiz one is a starfruit plant,
I was surprised to see the flowers.. cute man! =)

Yupz there were more but im lazy to post more pics!
Karm, srry for giving ya cold shoulder tiz hols =P

And mom's gonna get a security job.. Me gonna voice out to cher to let me work part-time.. Sponsorship have restrictions.. So nidda get permission >.<

All is well and good.. Hope in 09, we can brace for the worse. I pray that everyone will be fine. Friends included.. =)

Done MIA-ing

2008-12-23T23:58:00.000-08:00

Went KL last week on wednesday and juz came back now... Will be updating later about da trip now... iwanna catch up on animes fiz! hahax

Darn i have a new phone but no signal.... so imma uncontactable from last tues till now
Heard from ling-chan...she will start skooling next week? *dum dum dum*I have one more week to spare... why u sps muz start skool so fast one.... grr!!!!

I muz plan outings by tonite like tat lah... @_@

So niwayz the trip was fun and bday was nice coz many ppl wish me happy bday and not nice coz bday was pretty bad too... i tell u all later.. C ya Karm!! XD

Ling-chan goin Japan!! T_T

2008-12-06T00:49:00.001-08:00

As promised, updated but nth much happening hahax
Wanton mee is being exported to japan today!!!
Mars gonna miss ya...Waaaaaaaah!!!!
Hope she'll get along well with ramen over there.. hahax.

Be safe and enjoy ur time there kaiz?? =D
I'm damn envious of Jap's weather... Outside is natural air-con des!! Since the timing should be spring-early summer times like tat, i think.

So, Ling chan gonna catch a morning plane...4am wassit? @_@
And thanks for da piano bag gal!!!
Ur present is cherished <3<3<3>

Faith's blog informative hahax
Did the temparamental quiz and turns out to be a sanguine melancholic... O.o
I thought it was a weird combi though XD
http://www.oneishy.com/personality/results/3cf2c5fc8

Basically, humans can be described in 4 personalities... Not bad eh so when ppl ask u wat's ur personality is?
I juz reply: Sanguine Melancholic...
Dunnid to say ur good/bad qualities and job interviews can be done much easier *nods head*

And thanx for sharing the story about the leaf, wind and the tree. Interesting hahax.

One week of attachment has passed by. One more to go!
Tiz attachment is fun.
Coz i have good buddies Priya and Nisa with me!!!!
Makan time is when they all begin chit-chatting like wives! XD

Thank goodness got Ben same ward hehe... He's the top joker!!
Together with Ti Hao and Hafiz...They became the bez comedians in da ward! Wakakaka!

I actually thought tiz posting gonna b uncomfortable coz got Hafiz there...
Yup the more i wanna not to see him, the more coincidences we had.. Haiz!
Pai seh lah, recognise him but thought wrong person for one year in poly...Damn guilty lah T_T
His height is a giveaway mahz from pri skool the tallest and now still the tallest... 183 cm wah piang eh!

But overall, I talk to the boys more when i work coz i kena male cubicle..Hafiz the least though lol
And the gals all chicken out from visiting me at my cubicle *shakes head*

But I think i'd bttr start being cautious of my actions coz sum guys are being much nicer than they should be =S
*Sigh* I guess it's hard for others to treat the opposite gender equally. Only me and Param can do tat... Muahahahaha!! >:)
Cupid will have no effect on me coz partly of the experience being in tbone section and coz i have a lil bro. Wahaha, mayb i have sista complex arh... HABIS, Fian's gf gonna suffer!! XDD
Attachment is fun but i also wish for hols to come sooner and skool coz ey are the most safest time as then i'll nvr talk to any guys. XD

And life's gettin harder coz financial probs is recurring again.
Dad juz gotta noe that his contract is going to end soon and we still need money coz of the monthly rent! =(

Thank goodness, i resolve the conflicts in my head...
I dunno wat happen if i decided to break the bond.
I'd bet Dad and Mom will be down in the dumps.

THANK YOU EVERYONE!!! For caring for me and listening to me... I was super down last year and I poured on a lot about unsatisfied dreams and hating dad coz he gave sweet promises to support me ya da ya da.
So Mom's gonna head out to work next year and Dad's trying to find part-time work.
I'd suggested if it's to hard to pay the rent, mom and lil bro go aunty's crowded home, Dad can go step sis's home...

Me? I'm not sure, coz 1 house too crowded so only 2 can go, another is a family that i cant get along...
I said mayb i go stay at friend's house... Susu or Ct's. Dots.
But lets hope we can still survive in tiz place even if dad's not a lecturer anymore.
Mom and me dun wanna burden anyone.

Tiz world does not tolerate the capable making risky mistakes,
they'll b pointing fingers at u and say
"Serve u rite, u got all u needed and u juz throw it like tat"

But tiz turning point upgraded my maturity level. So i guess tats the good point of it all.
And i've been thanking God for it and praying for bttr times. =)

Long update...and dun snore kaiz? XD

2008-11-23T09:52:00.000-08:00

Update long coz gonna crammed up the whole week in one post... Srry ppl!! XD
Gonna study all da way in da nite. I tell ya, i work bez at nite times..Me, can bcum vampire liao!! =DD
I study while watching My Girl drama...Lol, was thinking why the hell i didn't bother to watch it until now. Grr!!

Hehe tiz week's has ups and downs. Mon, Tues, Wednesday was getting angrier and angrier coz of the projects.

On tuesday, had no skool but poly mates decided to meet up to do nursing research, we were hogging the comps from 12 to 4. Latiff spotted me and say hi with slippers.. Way to go Latiff, treat ur tbone sis with respect. *cough cough*

Then the second time he walked past me, go throw book at me. The third time, I was prepared...go hit him with tat book!! SUCCESS!!! XD

Then, tried to hunt down Bukit Merah Public Library for project reference and i ended up at Tiong Bahru Plaza from Bukit Merah Interchange... LUCKY SUSU WAS THERE!!!!!! MY HEROINE!!! lol coz then, we realised the library could be found from the interchange and my guesses always ended up wrongly so susu help in correcting it! x_x

I was enjoying the whole time but susu, her toes was crying for space... See lah whu ask u to where those kinda shoes! =PP

We managed to find a white temple which looks grand and definitely eerie in da nite...Wished to take pics of it but my hp no good in taking pics. T_T
Nid new phone quick, thinking i juz get a new contract. Ct phone super style~~ =DD

Wednesday, NSL class we interrupted the cher too much. She was going tru sitz bath, water + salt, treatment for buasir. In english called hemmorhoids i think x_x

Ms Bao: K then u put the horse salt into the bowl and pour in the water.

Class was nodding for a while

Ben: Horse salt?
Ms Bao: Yar horse salt

Me:Cher, u mean they use horse salt for this? (was thinking fiz time using chinese traditional medicine =DD)
Ben: How u spell it?

Ms Bao: c-o-a-r-s-e salt
Me: Chey, thought u get the horse to sweat then collect it in one bottle and dry the sweat to get the salt

Everyone laugh.
And i noe, it's lame but tats wat i thought! Here i was feeling amazed with the idea of horse salt *pouts*

Ms Bao: Fine let me stop class now, u all make me forget the next step for this procedure... *Glares at me*

Then nite time was also fun coz me, maria and shalini were contacting each other thru out the nite. I onli slept at 4 after doin me critique 3/4 done. Pestering each other with "Eh u alive yet? How's da critique coming?" Susu lazy do java so nvr stay up with me.. T_T

Thursday? Heh me deadline for projects. Karti and priya were lost, they said they had no idea wat they presenting. I grinned evilly and said to em this "Next time, please dun do anything like this kaiz?" and they were 0.0

I had to be the one whu introduce the peeps so i started off with a lame dramatic tone. "First of all, I would like to say thanks again for coming to tiz one hour tutorial coz if i were to be u all, i would skip tiz class."
Cher grins "Wah u so bad, tellin the class to skip arh"
Then when priya, karti and maria were presenting, i could see the class stoning. Hahax even saw cher yawning.

When Cher give evaluation, Cher said "Not bad arh, i like ur presentation."
Then starts ranting off bout the good points Me and everyone were eyeing at each other coz we thought presentation was down the drain.

Priya & Karti keep on saying "Thanx arh gal, thanx so much" (Lol see how guilty they felt! XD) And went to eat dinner with Priya, Nages and Shalini.
Fiz time go back with Priya after days of going back home with Shalini.. Coz I was angry with her and Karti mahz

Priya: Belinda doesn't talk to cher much
Me: I also wat
Priya: NO! (With a big D=<) U always talk one summore, always give class comments and lame jokes.. It's good to have u in da class (With a big >=D)

Nice sudden expressions gal!!! And by tat comment, I felt extremely touched de!!! *Ary's slang still with me hahax*

Friday After skool, ct called and heard she was lonely at house. Mom and Baqir at msia, Rashid at friend's house and Iszaki doin tutorin so ct asked me to go her house.
Was on my way to the dentist. I have to put 2 rubber bands at side and a third one at nite. (Yupz, left and rite and front)
Juz for the sake of forcing the upper teeth to match the lower teeth.

Dr Koh: Center line is off so muz wear bands till u finally see center line.
He even show me the centerline he want after ages of me pushing my jaw too much to da rite and left. It was like 0.5 mm lor... DUNNID WAT!!! =((

Me: Cannot juz remove braces with center line loff meh?
Dr Koh: Cannot
*Sumwat he portrayed a father's karma and i lost to him*

Went to buy Ct lunch although i tried forcing her to go to Mac. =/
Haiz Ct saw the bands and she laughed at me... >.<

And Iszaki got recruited into sum soccer team... Congrats dude!
But Ct find it stupid for ppl to go chase one ball XD She even said Iszaki wanna have 22 children so he have 2 soccer teams LOL. Good luck ct... =PP

After tat, sing May'N lion song together and played hotel 626 coz ct got webcam and mic!! Woot! Omg, it rox and we screamed together at one of the rooms!!! Thanks for marketing hotel 626 on ur msn nick, Daniel!!!!!

Ct said she will have nightmares! Muahahaha! Me? I was hyper coz i've been missing horror a lot! <3<3
And Rashid is gettin more hikkomori on me aldy... Weird! Think ct's bro is at tat age huh? Im feeling kinda worried for him haiz (Wee! sounding like a parent finally XD)

Went out with lil bro to go pay hp bills, update passbook and go buy his shuttlecock, left home at 9pm after giving a bad mood vibe coz searching for my bill for 20 mins.
And guess wat, met Salleh on the way... *shivers*
Well he look more like a student now when compared to MI. I think He spotted me being weird >.<

I was scratching my head while telling Fian bout being stressed and was puttin my head at escalator railing.
Reached on top and approached Dustbin-sama.

Lil Bro: Slamdunk! (trying to throw plastic wrapper and it didn't go trough)
Me: (left Fian and turned back & shouted) Hah, slamdunk failed!!
Salleh: U Marina rite?

Mewas suddenly veri scared... Whu's tiz big guy then see alamak tat dude...

Ling-chan got say tat he say "I looked so cute that he wanted to lick my face" and after tat, i started my avoiding mode liao. X_X

He even say last time he saw me once but forgot name so didnt greet me and tat he was surprised to see me at woodlands bla bla...
He started firin me questions and i felt uneasy when he asked about Ling-chan's course but he noe bout my course T_T

Hopefully, i wun meet him much *sobz*

Saturday!!! =DD
Think help e rez to blog bah

AFA commences!!! And supposed to meet up at city hall at 11.... BUT! Everyone cept ling-chan & brian met at JE! FATED!!!!! XD

I managed to spot Ary, kudos to Michelle's blog and after seeing her lingering at the platform like me... Me, was ct called when i left home and chatted till jurong east. Spot her at choa chu kang actually and was thinking tiz gal look like Michelle's friend. But i didn't take any chances coz my mistaken identities incidence rate is too high!!

I saw a cap lying at the floor unwanted so i approached the seat and bend down to pick it up, ppl were like O.O
Wat? Bad meh to take things FOC?? Or izzit coz it's a suspicious article :0
And ct laughed and told me tat im weird. *Yupz still on the phone with her. XD*
Then i spotted Ary and go approach her lorz!

Then Karo, came.. She look elegant ler with white scarf!! Last was Michelle, and Karo said she met her b4...coz same church group. It's a small world after all, it's a small, small world!!
Ling-chan muz make passport so tats why cant meet up with us... D=

Well so after the mrt ride, I realised Michelle is called Modoki and Ary is called Mokona... love da nicknames. Met up with ling chan and talk to Param whu was waiting for his friend.

We kinda stand out too much coz of Michelle and Ary lor! Keep on poking each other and stretching the camera bag strap.
Even heard sumone at the back commenting us a 'cute' group. >.<

So, it was poking fiesta throughout the whole journey, go makan then Brian dropped by to see us. He go follow the korean hairstyle one and look like work at restaurant liao!! Too smart looking XD

Hmm, kaiz AFA not bad but think cosfest gt more interesting anime drawings! Too bad i didnt go see May'N sing, it's today one. T_T But, AFA got lots of kawaii dolls ^^

K fin my rantings and on with the pics. Ling-chan's pics cant load @_@. Mine cant find usb wire! =X So, i'll showcase Ary's photography skills! *nods head* XD

At food republican

The 'emo' hairsyle as he claimed it to be *scratches head*

Michelle with skeleton glasses *Peace!*

Ary and Brian has a photo taking war! Mokona started it fiz lol

Modoki sees camera and goes (0_0)??

Took pics of minna-san. Lol one got cut...x_x

Ling chan look like teacher!!! XDD

Oh, oh...Aunty's comin! Run, run!!
*We kena scolded for takin pics in front of the shop XD*

Stalking naruto's group in process! =DD

Tiz is one cool shot, Ary!! NICE DES!! =DD

Starts commanding us wat to do

Hehe tiz Carrot is evil i tell ya..
He cut his own kind and serves em to us! XD

The rez of the butlers caught on camera

Ary said the 2 dudes can becum couple liao

Coz have matching clothes mahz

Lol Ling-chan had to balance Carrot head.
Everyone tries to avoid from getting hit by the hat!

The white hair gal too shy to face us!

Hahax i want those bunnies!! *_*

The cute $5 tics

Lavi!! Modoki gotta pat his head no fair!! D:

Ary X Kanda =P

We love kyoko-chan. Love me pose! XD

Gah.. i want tat sasuke wig! It's a wig rite? O.o

Presenting Domo-kuns!

Joker!! Me and michelle like 1!!

Wee! One of the many elaborate figurines!

Cloud-kun!! I gotta met u in mini style! XD

Found this on the grafitti walls

K set... I shall make tat Byakuya plushie!! *_*

Woah...look at the colours T_T

Cute russian dolls

Doll made of metal...omg the craftmanship *claps*

Domo-kun ambush

Artist at work

Even got comic scene at the wall

Mine and i tell ya... It's epic phail!! x_x

Mokona and Modoki lost!

Me and Karo were aldy outside...
Ling-chan went back aldy with Hui Li >.< Wei Karo dun attack me!!

Well tats it! hehe

On my way back, i felt tat i was blessed. Why?
Coz there was tiz uncle at the mrt wishing everyone xmas. Yupz, he's crazy but da good kind.

Uncle: Attention, brothers and sistas. I wanna wish u merry xmas as u can see the mrt's number is 1225. So I wish to give every children in thiz train presents!

Went to the number, ask a passenger to take photo of him with da number.

Uncle: Please pray for me, that i could give presents to all the children in the world. Thank you everyone and MERRY XMAS!! May God bless u

So, well i was happy to see such good will spread to everyone hehe... And felt happy all the way back home but i realised i also got sum stares. Mayb coz i was smiling at the uncle's words? O.o

Karm, expect sum silence from me kaiz? XD

Lalalala elmo's world!!!

2008-11-17T08:09:00.000-08:00

Whassup with me and cartoon songs? They've been hitting me hard today! @_@

Lol juz wanted to say tat Dad's have the same prob as me!!
We can socialise we can!!! But we have da approach anxiety phobia!!!! XD
He say summore that i should go join the public speaking club whenever i mentioned this problem. *Hmph say ppl say urself (bleh!)*
For me, normally it's game over once i feel the anxiety, it's all in da hands of the other party to make it fun or awkward for us hehe!

Coz today see Dad's old time friend while riding the smiley bus. Yupz susu, we went msia again haiz. XD

Then we were arguing about me going to another seat in the bus so tat Dad can talk to him.

Me: Let me go sit in the other seat. U sit with Uncle Ma'arof
Pops: No nid. Juz sit here
Me: No, i juz going to sit over there and let u 2 talk *standing up*
Pops: Nooo! (while tagging me arm) Coz i dunno wat to talk to him!

Uncle Ma'arof boarded the bus. *silence*

Me: Uncle sit beside us!! *stretch my hand across the walkway and pats at seat* ^^ (victory!)
Uncle: Thank you very much
Dad: Ina, u go sit there lah *while laughing* (Duh, was trying to sit there all this while =_=)

In the end, Dad went with my solution. Alamak, dunnid to cause a raucous juz over tat rite? XD

Hmm still sticking to da retirement plan... If im rich, i go live at cameron highlands & grow strawberries plan
lol!

My dream house will be *drum rolls* (got from arwensgrace)

Look at da cottages!!! KAWAII!!!!!! <3 Kya...a witch house? Omoishiroi!(correct spelling? O.o)
K, set... hope i have tiz kinda neighbour, we'd be growing herbs all day!!! XD

So tiz is my retirement plan! Well they say it's bad if you think of ur retirement a lot... Hmm guess tat shows i have little job satisfaction? O.O

Planning to stay up tonite...wakakakaka!!!

Sumtimes it's sad to realise ur subconscious still tread in wishful thinking
I just dreamt about tat idiot again...
Was thinking why the hell was i dreaming a lot bout him?
I dreamt of seeing him in sum funny jacket and da same old tagging of his hand
He said sth bout"Lets have another meet up"
And i couldn't make it...(forgot why i couldn't make it)
Hah! Justice has been served & u got owned!
Now u feel like me, waiting & waiting to move on & get over you
Sadly, tat's juz the dream u...=/

Mom talks about how she thinks our bloodline, the women is devoted to one.
Coz my grandma, grandpa died when mom's still a kid and she decided to be a widow for the rez of her life.
Then grandma talk about her mother being tat way too.
Then mom, said about the lover tat fate didnt allow
And tat gets me thinking, "So i only have enough love for one person?" Tats pathetic...T_T

Getting angry...gaah!

2008-11-10T23:26:00.000-08:00

Heh, looks like me poly friends turn groupmates are veri lousi ones at it... they have no sense of urgency!
And they always like "Uhh, Marina what must we do arh for nursing research?"

Today we agreed to go see Ms Hafizah today to discuss about our sleeping nursing research project and look wat happens. One decide to leave skool early to jalan-jalan at jp, another 2 skip...Wat is tiz?

They think it's damn easy to do a 1.5k research critique... Summore we muz do on a common research question & nid to hand up on 15 nov *sigh*
Fine, fine... I'll do it all alone and if u all get lousy marks, dun come and find me. >=(

The ns1 project also same, they noe next week presenting and i assigned them questions to work on and they give me nothing. No shitz...u all have no idea how much it means for me to pass tiz modules.

I cant fail coz of me financial probs but u all dun give a damn! *hmph*

Feeling da pressure! And suffering from it myself.. x_x

Karm: Gambatte rin-chan. T_T

Feeling that a confrontation's coming and i tell ya, fireworks will fly. grr!

Random

2008-11-10T02:06:00.000-08:00

On a blogger rampage...Sumwat i can feel Michelle influencing me aldy! x_x

Itadakimas!! *Lol rem naruto coz of the action*

(left chara's hair like Tales of Abyss one)

Another hairstyle for future reference! <3

From deviantart one, but no grimjow, afraid u jealous =P

From feismo

Michelle... Mitte! mitte! Tiz one's a drawing

but look like gene rite? Mayb his brother! Lol

Cloud- Zaph

Lol my 06 anime crush other than the ouran twins!

Yupz i noe, amazing, i almost nvr fall in love in reality

but got lotsa anime <3>

Winter by sandara

(Kyaa been looking for a beast to draw on!!:))

Hmm by kungfutiffa (points to da neko ears)

ANIME FEST 08!!!!
~Wanton mee been telling me to go lol...And karo's plan A for korean food cancelled so sticking to tiz plan!!
*Hahax even if go korean food also not halal, bet i'll juz drool at e food.. hehe sabo Karo!! =P)~

Michelle (u can bring Ary along XD) & susu..
Tell me which day u free! XD

Received email from the jap cultural cca. Here goes...
Wide array of Japanese Pop Culture related content with 6 experience zones:
Akiba Town,
Anime Live,
Anime Blockbusters,
Industry,
Mangaka
Planet Mech

where visitors will gain access to exclusive content, merchandise and live acts straight from Japan.

Those who are interested in this event, below are the details and for more information click on the official website.

On 22-23 November 2008 (Saturday and Sunday) at 10.00am to 9.00pm
Suntec International Convention and Exhibition Centre, Singapore Hall 403 and 404

Admission fee: $5 (1 day) / $8 (2 days) Children under 6 years enter for free

More info @

http://animefestivalasia.com/

Did a quiz about "which D.gray man chara are u?"
And my result is...

WAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!! I dun like Komui and he gotta complex for his sista!! T_T
I wanted to have Lavi *sobz* (still in denial)

Karm: Get a grip, Mars =_=

Humanity is complex.. Go cross-eyed ppl! slaps back XD

2008-11-08T23:54:00.000-08:00

Reason??
There's freakingly too many ppl...
Billions of us, each with their own dozen of problems..
Bet earth is freakingly crying out... Hears from news "Each family produce more than 1kg of trash per day"
*sigh* (Heh me environmental-friendly personality is coming out again!)

~On the other hand~
But we need the many ppl around us..
As lessons, as enlightenment, as strengths and for the acknowledgement tat we exist.
Sum ppl say they hate liars but they themselves lie to others.. Hypocrites! >=(

Im feeling hurt for me bestie... Not tat i could understand the pain 100% coz none can unless it's u whu is da victim.
But i noe it hurts, when it comes to betrayal or backstabbing! >.<

Untuk kau (Lepas baca kau tau lah siapa, eh!) =P
Si bodoh tu perangai budak-budak. Period.
Banyak suruh putuskan aje..
Tapi bila aku ingat balik.
Aku punya cinta banyak memberikan ku "What if's"
Lagi-lagi aku tak bilang siapa-siapa pun untuk empat tahun

Jadi..

I'll always have a mixture of emotions,
all stressed up in my room. X_X

... My say in this...
(U noe how lousy i am at tiz, but im trying lol)

Ku tak menyesal untuk kelakuanku untuk cinta sendiri.

Jadi kalau u masih dalam keliruan fikiran,
berikanlah lebih masa untuk berfikir.

"Untuk menamatkan" atau "Untuk disambungkan"
Kedua-dua pilihan itu memerlukan tenaga.
Tapi jawapannya harus datang dari hati kau.

Kau tau aku memilih "Untuk menamatkan" sebelum lagi start pun,
tapi
ku masih jugak banyak menangis untuk dier.
Kadang-kadang u ade dengar aku cakap "Dozo yoroshku!",
tanpa kesedaranku, aku masih juga teringatkan dia.
(Datang dari friendster dia.. Grr! XD)

Memeningkan kepala.. cinta kasiku banyak pedih! Like bleach i tell ya hahax!
Tapi banyak juga aku dapat mempelajari daripadanya. XDD

Nasihatku, hmm if irritating, juz whack my head! Lamos nid to be taught.. =P

Dedicated for Michelle, Susu, Ling-chan, Karo & ct..
Me gal besties XD

Her face is a map of the world
Is a map of the world
You can see she's a beautiful girl
She's a beautiful girl

And everything around her is a silver pool of light
The people who surround her feel the benefit of it
It makes you calm
She holds you captivated in her palm

Suddenly I see
This is what I wanna be
Suddenly I see
Why the hell it means so much to me (Ur friendships!!XP)

I feel like walking the world
Like walking the world
You can hear she's a beautiful girl
She's a beautiful girl

She fills up every corner like she's born in black and white
Makes you feel warmer when you're trying to remember
What you heard

And she's taller than most (u all have tall personalities =P)
And she's looking at me..
she makes me feel like I could be a tower
A big strong tower

Suddenly I see
This is what I wanna be
Suddenly I see
Why the hell it means so much to me

Oi! Can guess wat song or not?
Got edit abit =X

Hehe once i learn guitar.. I'll sing tiz song to all of ya! <3

Since all guitar teachers i found are guys,
dragging lil bro to learn with me..
Even gonna go buy guitar for him!XD

Me life, me ways

Time for repentance

On the edge

Lil bro :3

dear family

My hiatus :P

Looking at the mirror

Boomz!

Dealing boredom

a surprise

Same worries recurring

being a single too long..

juz a matterof believing urself

Hamsters & usagis are up!!

Ouch!

unexpectedly

A round of nonsense

The schedule =((

Sorry...

Project rant

On a knowledge pursuit...

Being an owl..

Let's go out another time :)

3rd X

Lame attack

It's a small, small world!

dark side

Hehe Liberation

Phone nids salvation

Quotations

Talking rubbish =/

Memories.. =)

Karm is too pitiful!

Karm is too pitiful!

Going random again

Piano craving getting stronger!!

Hectic week has passed!!! Bansai!

Last week!

Done MIA-ing

Ling-chan goin Japan!! T_T

Long update...and dun snore kaiz? XD

Lalalala elmo's world!!!

Getting angry...gaah!

Random

Humanity is complex.. Go cross-eyed ppl! *slaps back* XD

Humanity is complex.. Go cross-eyed ppl! slaps back XD