[[*Endless Road_______Endless Journey]]*

Thursday, February 26, 2009

[[Karm is too pitiful!]]

Karm is too pitiful!

Lol my friends are more loyal to karm then me! Thanx for still diligently tagging Karm! And Karm for da long wait, ur reward is a long post, filled with my personal rants.. =_=

And KAI! IM sorrie i nvr update 4 so long.. Where are u gal, I miss ya so much!!!!!!! T_T
Coz nowadays i juz nvr see her online in msn and nvr go cr any longer. I miss her yaoi talk.. But bout yaoi, well im neutral XD
And i still havent update my msn, Kai. =PP

Well i promised to put up pics & video but u noe wat, im lazy and besides tmr i have one big day ahead.
1. Morning go malaysia and fetch my lover back! Guess what is it? XD
MY KEYBOARD!!!
Yes! Now i can definitely master those arashi tunes! =D

2. Late noon, see wan ton mee, carrot and modoki; crashing singapore poly.
Waiting for Mokona to finish paper hahax.

3. 4+ going near np to go explore the old railway tracks.. I've been dying to go there! =D

Karm: Lol why the last minute plan?
Mars: It's coz wan ton mee and michelle have attachment during hols sadded
Mars sabishii des!!! T_T (Lol correct me jap if its wrong)
Karm: At least u wun abandon me now
Mars: Heh we'll see about that XD

Rough overlook for hols
1. Fix my guitar and sign up for classes
2. Gonna try see capoiera class but alone leh, i think i will be too scared to go *gulps*
3. Pulau ubin cycling, param promised me hahax
4. Me self plan adventures: Bukit Timah, Macritche tree top walking(Somehow the name's wrong rite?), Zoo & try hunting down the sengkang hot spring
SUSU CAN U COME WITH ME? Lol if not, i juz drag Boss.. XD
5. Jap food/karaoke outing with Ling-chan & co.
6. Aishah gang also want k-box + science centre.. x_x

My thoughts from tiz week:
Frankly, im thinking bout the will of fire VS will of water..
If fire fights water, water wins. Coz when fire is too much, they juz change to another form, water vapour & escape fire. So water's skill is adaptability but doesn't it seem sad? Water gets push around while fire does not. Fire fights till it die, standing its ground.

Lol i bet u all thinking wat kinda philosphy is Mars spouting? XD

It all started coz i keep on wishing to be like Mom.
I mean she's damn straightforward and skold the person if she sees the need too,
even if it's a stranger passing by or her close friend.

I find Mom super cool coz she speaks her mind out and well, i dun.
I really wish to be her.
She has a fighter spirit and well the will of fire! She's a ninja!!
Lol since idea is inspired from Naruto Shippuden.

Yupz i admire her so much.. I even felt her heart and looks are so much prettier than mine.
Yea she's a better beauty than me even at the age of 43! XD

Coz i realised after doing the group project.. I can only get the group to cooperate one day before the due date of project. By then, i did 80% of the work, I realli felt tat i was being pushed around. One day i got so angry that i skipped skool without warning them and off my phone for one day. Pathetic rite? I didnt say how mad i was at them. But i think they can tell that's why they contributed on the last day. =_=

They are great friends but lousy project mates. And i have begun to become distant with them and closer to Shalini and Nages, instead of the whole bila bila gang. Sadly those two aint in my project group and they're serious ppl.. =/

Nages told me to speak my mind but u see, she's not on good terms with Priya already. >.<
I wish to scold them like my mom would've probably done
but Mom said dun, you might make things worse for urself.
And so, i lost the courage to state my point. =(

So i felt like my actions is like the water. I juz adapt when i get burn by others.
Mom always said she likes my name coz it relates to water. Eg. Marine -> Marina.
Looks like now i ended up having the will of water too, but Mom, Im envious of ur fire. XDD

And u noe wat, i've been thinking, why am i like tiz?
Why do i juz change and revolve around ppls' actions and not mine. Always anticipate their movements and cater to them.

I really wished to go JC and didnt, coz i worried bout my family. Luckily, now i see that it's the right decision. But a dream and my freedom was the price sadly.

Went to read everyone's blogs finally. So a good point from Gene's blog is "wealth, as tempting as it may seem, can never last and the riches of the heart are far more important". Its not exagerated coz I learned that lesson all too well. Wealth can be taken in an instant, juz care for ur loved ones.. =)

Since my emo-ness is over, i shall confess to ling-chan minna-san!

U noe rite, bout my Dad's a rich man.

Well during december 06, his wealth was all gone,
I hated my dad and so, hated myself for hating dad.
Coz i felt so horrible to hate him while loving him.
It came to an extent that I hated all men for no reason at a point of time.
Took me around one year to completely forgive my dad.
Mom took a while longer hahax.

Money can be devil itself, when u're down.
Coz for a year, i blamed Dad for not supporting me studies.

I really did my part as a daughter and did O's well. With lotsa difficulty.
So when i received my results,
Called him, feeling hyper.
*Dad's gonna be so proud of me!*

But when he heard the news,
he didnt congratulate me.
He juz said in a desperate voice,
"What have u decided to do?"

Tat made me feel so sad,
coz Dad didnt acknowledge my efforts,
he's more worried bout wat i'll choose.

For JAE, i felt so torn.
If Nursing: Stable and has sponsorship.
If JC: More skool memories and challenges. (Yea i love stressing my brain! XD)
But i'll have to struggle & there's no financial back up,
how am i going to university?
And wat about lil bro?

"Lets juz get the more stable future," I decided.

But for a year, tiz thought haunts me
"It's unfair! Isn't it Dad's responsibility to fulfil my dreams?"
increasing the hate.
Wat complicated my emotions is that we are hiding this facts from Dad's family.
Coz his family honors ppl by status. =/
I hated it when pops posed as if he's still rich in front of em.
(But now, it's okay and i kinda like the charade hahax)

Hatred made me so blind.

I failed to see that Dad actually had raised me with care for 16 years.
Wats wrong with repaying his efforts sooner than i expected??

God didn't grant his indulgence for wealth which is good.
I get to mature, see the world in a wider perspective.
And it made me become a nurse so i could help more ppl.
So now, im 100% sincere & confident
of supporting my family.
I cant wait how my lil bro will turn out to be. ^^
I help u, Fian!
I want him to decide what he want to do freely.
Well, he said he wanted to go poly. hahax
Now he wish to make weapons.. O.O

For Mokona's blog, I second Michelle's motion. People can be disgusting, especially those who make use of u..
Hell, i'll make sure i avoid them but if i kena, i'll try to forgive those who'll make use of me. See the extent of damage fiz. hahax

Well so now holidays I decree will be the time for me to make memories
Life has been fun! ^^
And i have u mateys by my side and for that, thank you so much! Love u all! =D

Announcement to make:
Boss had an online galfriend!!!
Omg rite? He's 12 and had an online gf aldy?? D:
Lol but then break up with her coz he told her, "I dun wanna be a lovey dovey type of bf"
So gf dumped him.. ._.

After tat he keep saying "Gals reek!" for awhile..
Me: Hey im also a gal
Fian: Gals reek..So u reek!
Me: But u have a one-of-a-kind sister.. D:
Fian: Hah no way. It's u whu have a one-of-a-kind brother
Mars: Lol. Im one-of-a-kind coz im a tomboy. >:D
Fian: U're a sister-brother (I was like eh?????? =_=")

And after he cools down..
Fian: "When can i have a real gf?"
Me shock at fiz but i replied, "When u find a gal who likes u and like u back.. But tell me asap" XD

Im glad at least one of us is determined to find a lover. At least i noe im gonna have nieces/nephews! Rofl. XD

Generally, the psychological trauma is all gone, but i know tat it's gonna be hard for me to get married.
I mean, i dunno if my lover will like how much commitment i'll put for family & well it had juz increased my level of carefulness to find a lover. Which might take forever. =/

I hope it wasn't so awkward with u all from reading bout my thoughts.
But that's the story I learnt.
I juz really want to reinforce the idea of think of ur love ones more than money.
U might not see the worth but it's priceless.
God will bless u for sure! =)

See ya Karm! I promise to upload the videos and photos for the next post which is pretty soon i bet hehez.And the topic'll be super-light-hearted for sure. XDD

Karm: U sure? Dun go missing again >:(

[[Walking Alone On This Endless Road]]*|8:33 AM|

[[The Walker]]

Name: Mars
Bdae: 11-12-1990
Nicks: Nodame & many more haha
Skool: None! :P

[[My Adores]]

Food: All kinds of tasty food cept halal pork
Drinks: Milk tea, Coffee, all sorts of tea.. But the best is still Newater :X
Pastimes: Music, Drama & People
People: Erm hang out with Piano, susu, ct, modoki & mokona

[[My Detests]]

People: used to hate all men cept my brothers hahah. Now im enlighthened! X)
Things: POOP! Snails *shiver*
Food: Chaltar food.. Culprit is always me >.<

[[Music's Playing]]

Music Playlist at MixPod.com

[[My History]]

[[The Conversations]]

[[my stars]]